Dismissed By Doctor

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    I’m not even sure this is what is going on with me but it seems closest and I just had the most humiliating and depressing doctor’s visit so.

    I’m 36, I’ve only had one partner in my life as a teen and she was female. I’ve always had painful pelvic exams and pain using internal menstrual products and pain trying to use toys on my own. My previous primary doc, on an exam, said that my vaginal opening was much smaller than she would expect to see on an adult woman and recommended seeing a GYN to help with that, especially if I was considering dating men.

    I was embarrassed and then had a big move so I didn’t. Finally decided to try and was basically laughed at by the doc. They couldn’t understand why I would bother coming in if I wasn’t sexually active, and also seemed to have a great deal of trouble understanding that I wouldn’t be at my age.

    The doc point blank told me – it’s going to hurt a lot the first time and probably for a while when you first have sex, you’ll bleed a lot and I won’t consider referring you for any treatment unless you’re having repeated sex with men that’s excessively painful. The fact that I also can’t use anything penetrative on my own and might want to is apparently not an issue.

    I left crying and shaking and I basically am at the point where I think maybe I should just give up dating and never leave my house again. It took me so long to finally look into this and now…

    Has anyone been taken seriously with this issue if they aren’t in a sexually active with a male partner? I think at this point I’m stuck with anything I can find on line because I don’t think I can ask a doc again in person after this. Or is she right and I’m just being stupid?

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