You need to assess the severity of your vaginismus. If you are unable to tolerate any penetration at all you are best off having the Botox treatment under anesthesia. If you are able to tolerate some penetration such as tampons and fingers then you can begin dilating yourself using the various sized fingers which also function like dilators. Once you have made progress then try inserting two or more fingers which adds to the dilation. If you are able to insert two fingers then try pulling them apart, this will add to the stretching you need.
Even if you are unable to receive packages, medical supplies should be an exception.
Let us know how you progress. This will help others.
Honestly I wouldn’t be able to tell you excatly if it would be so painful because it seems like my vagina just refuses to let anything in.
It might be more something psychological then physical I’m not sure myself…