Dilating Diva #2 – Post procedure update

[Lou84]

So, by now you have seen posts from the other two lovely ladies that make up the ‘dilating divas’. I have been travelling but am finally able to sit down and share my experience with Dr Pacik and his phenomenal team.

The three of us had our procedures in late September and I can’t even articulate the progress since then. In fact, the progress while we were all together, post-procedure, was nothing short of amazing. I can’t tell you how valuable it is to have a supportive group of women sharing the same experiences (and of course, the wonderful Dildo Dude who was just as comforting to us two single gals, as he was to his lovely wife). Sharing such personal thoughts, fears and hopes seems strange to discuss with strangers, but in that environment it is like having your own personal cheer squad. Don’t be afraid to talk to each other – you’re all in the same boat. It only enriches the experience because you learn from each other and it removes the isolation that makes Vaginismus really hurt.

Procedure
I am 28 and this was my first time in a hospital, let alone having surgery. I was on the other side of the world (from my home in Australia), with no family or friends and I was nervous. As the nurse put my IV in she said “this is the most painful thing you’ll experience all day. I always say that and nobody believes me”. She was right. That little sting was the worst aspect of a day that turned out to be…dare I say it?…fun. That’s right! The three of us were tucked into soft, heated beds, wheeled into the surgery room, had a little sleep (under anaesthetic, of course) and woke up back in our snuggly beds with blue dilators in. Still groggy, I turned to the nurse and said “It’s not every day you wake up and your life has changed for the better”. Then the three of us compared pain levels, had some nurofen, ordered lunch, read magazines/books, dilated and chatted. Like a very strange but cathartic sleepover! I’m not trying to trivialise or sugarcoat the procedure because it very emotional for everyone involved. But I want to reassure any future patients that you couldn’t be in better hands. The entire team goes ABOVE AND BEYOND to make you as comfortable as possible. And we all know how rare that is. This is a group of people that genuinely care and understand the suffering of their patients. Dr Pacik is a pioneer and a humble, lovely man.

Post-procedure
I was halfway through two months of travelling when I went to Manchester. The second half of my trip presented time challenges, but I have managed to dilate every day and have experienced no major setbacks or problems to date. I think this may be due to Dr Pacik’s advice that you need to “start small and dilate up”. I think this method has stopped me from trying to do too much too soon, and I’ve had steady, consistent progress as a result.

My history
Just to give some context, I had been aware of Vaginismus for 7 years (after successful but PAINFUL intercourse for the first two years of a 6-year relationship), but I really think I have always had it to some degree. Tampons were never possible – the prospect filled me with dread – and gynaeological exams have always been painful and stressful. Q-tips were even too big to insert. By contrast, I am now sleeping with the purple dilator in every night and I also use the pink and blue ones before bed. Sometimes I look at those glass cylinders and am just amazed that they fit in THERE. But it’s true what Dr Pacik said in his book, once you wake up from the procedure and the dilator is in, something just clicks. It’s the first time I felt like my body hadn’t failed me; it was doing what it’s designed for. And that is a feeling I want for all of you ladies!

The Dilating Divas hailed from the US, Romania and Australia – we travelled far and wide to get this done. And I think I can safely say it is the best decision I have ever made!

Dilating Diva #2 xx

[Heather34]

Hi Lou! Huge CONGRATS on your tremendous success and I am so, so happy for you and the dilating divas (love this thread)!!!

You wrote:
“Sharing such personal thoughts, fears and hopes seems strange to discuss with strangers, but in that environment it is like having your own personal cheer squad. Don’t be afraid to talk to each other – you’re all in the same boat. It only enriches the experience because you learn from each other and it removes the isolation that makes Vaginismus really hurt.”
I felt so, so similar to you in the beginning and my hubby and I were so shy and nervous about the idea of talking to another couple about something we had kept so private for our entire relationship. Then, fast forward to actually being there with this other couple, and it was one of the best experiences ever. We all shared so much and my hubby and I were just amazed and in awe that there were other people out there who were like us and it removed our feelings of isolation. Then, on day 2, my roomie and I became very close and cheered each other on through the dilating. In fact, we talked so much together, we didn’t even realize the time was up to remove the blue dilator. It was just like you said, we were each other’s cheer and support squad.

You further wrote:
“I turned to the nurse and said “It’s not every day you wake up and your life has changed for the better”. The entire team goes ABOVE AND BEYOND to make you as comfortable as possible. And we all know how rare that is. This is a group of people that genuinely care and understand the suffering of their patients. Dr Pacik is a pioneer and a humble, lovely man.”
I absolutely love this and couldn’t agree more. I was beyond nervous pre-procedure and then remember waking up with the blue dilator inside of me and just being so, so ecstatic and happy that it had worked and something could be inside of me for the first time pain-free. It was an indescribable and truly wonderful experience. And, I couldn’t agree with you more about Dr. Pacik and the entire team. They are the most genuine and caring group of people you will ever find and, as I’ve written so many times, they have a very, very special way of making even the most anxious of patients relaxed and at ease.

You further wrote:
“I have managed to dilate every day and have experienced no major setbacks or problems to date. I think this may be due to Dr Pacik’s advice that you need to “start small and dilate up”. I think this method has stopped me from trying to do too much too soon, and I’ve had steady, consistent progress as a result.”
This is so, so wonderful and excellent progress!!!!!

You also wrote:
“Q-tips were even too big to insert. By contrast, I am now sleeping with the purple dilator in every night and I also use the pink and blue ones before bed. Sometimes I look at those glass cylinders and am just amazed that they fit in THERE. But it’s true what Dr Pacik said in his book, once you wake up from the procedure and the dilator is in, something just clicks. It’s the first time I felt like my body hadn’t failed me; it was doing what it’s designed for. And that is a feeling I want for all of you ladies!”
I absolutely LOVE reading this Lou and it is just so, so true. For all the ladies reading this who are awaiting treatment, this is a wonderful testament of what happens post-procedure. I, too, could never ever insert anything at all, even a q-tip despite really, really wanting to and doing every type of treatment I could think of in order to do this. I just could never get past the fear/pain response. Immediately upon waking up from this procedure with the dilator in place, it seriously flipped a switch for me and I knew something was inside of me for the first time and it was pain-free and it worked, I wasn’t broken. It just changed my entire way of thinking and was life-changing in so many ways and will be for you as well!!!

Finally, you wrote:
“The Dilating Divas hailed from the US, Romania and Australia – we travelled far and wide to get this done. And I think I can safely say it is the best decision I have ever made!”

My sincere CONGRATULATIONS Lou and this is so, so wonderful to read!

[lsmith]

Hello my dilating diva friend!!!! Glad to here you are doing so well. I knew you could do it!!!! The dildo dude has been doing great as well 🙂 Our lives have definately changed for the better. It feels so good to be able to concentrate on other things and be able to view my body as normal…..strange but awesome!! Now if I could only lose 20 lbs and look as good as I feel!!!!! Smoking Hot ;)…keep in touch and keep up the dilating.
Lisa

[Lou84]

Thanks Heather! And thanks for the great work you do on these forums – the support is absolutely invaluable! 🙂

That’s great to hear Lisa 🙂 so happy for you guys!

[world04]

Thank you ladies my name isi world 04- u guys give me home and tears that this will work for me also. I am planning going in during january. Its been 1 year for me and will the fear disappearof getting hurt and the pain.

[Heather34]

Hi world04. Welcome to the forum and thank you so much for your post. HUGE CONGRATS on your upcoming procedure. I understand completely when you describe this fear of getting hurt and pain. This is exactly what I experienced for so many years when I had vaginismus and I’m happy to report that I’m now cured and this fear/pain response is now gone. I had previously suffered with Pacik level 5 primary vaginismus for several years and was cured and able to have pain-free intercourse with my hubby within 7 days of this procedure. I promise you that this procedure will work for you and be life-changing in countless ways. Please know that we are all here to support you!