A few beginner’s questions- how do you know it’s deep enough?

Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus Dilating A few beginner’s questions- how do you know it’s deep enough?

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    Hi, I am new to dilating (I am on my third day with smallest dilator) and I have a few questions:
    First, I have read a few posts about women struggling with the first inch of insertion, and then- once it past the opening- it goes smoothly all the way. I seem to have a differnt problem- The entry part comes with a bit of anxiety, and I need to breath a few times before inserting, but when I try inserting- it is fine, for the first part, and then I get stuck, and it is painful for me to carry on inserting the whole dilator (to remind you, I am talking about the smallest one, which is 3.48 inches long). I start having fears that I am hitting my cervix opening, and so there is no where to continiue, but I don’t realy know, if there’s more. I am probably strugling with the deeper muscles, because I haven’t reached them yet, so they are all tense, but I am also anxious that I am hitting my cervix, so I don’t want to push any further…
    I am also not sure of the direction to push it further, even if I had the courage to do it, so I am a bit lost…

    Second, I am trying to get pregnant (with home insemination, as I am unable to get full intercourse with my husband), and I was wondering whether it is ok to continue training with dilators during pregnancy.

    Thank you!


    I can feel if it hits my cervix. It’s sometimes painful, but even when it isn’t, it’s definitely noticeable to me. Then again, I’ve sometimes hit my cervix with my finger (it feels kind of like a closed flower bud in shape), so I know what that feeling means.

    In general, I’d say don’t worry too much about hitting your cervix. It’s not going to cause any harm, it just might trigger cramping sometimes. If you have menstrual cramps, irritating the cervix causes similar cramps but way less intense.

    As for pregnancy, if it’s safe to have sex, it’s also safe to dilate. So unless your OB-gyn says otherwise, it’s fine. In fact, I’d recommend keeping up with the dilation since vaginismus can make you more likely to tear during labor, according to some studies I’ve read. I am also trying to conceive, and I’m planning to keep dilating during pregnancy to make the labor easier.


    Thank you Ettina, for your answers, it helps.
    Good luck with getting pregnant soon!!!

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