I just went into a high school to give their 1.5 hours of sex ed. Truthfully, I think we covered the basics and I try to remember that there are only so many take-away messages that anyone can handle at any given moment. But what I love about talking to teens is that once they get over their initial shyness and once there is some sense of trust established in the room, they ask the best questions. Here’s one. She “So what happens if you don’t have simultaneous orgasms.” Me (clearly out of touch with popular culture on this one.) “hun?” (See post below where I admit to not having a tv set.) She: “you know, what happens if two people don’t have orgasms at the same time. Me (recovering from my surprise…quite impressively I may add.) “Oh, most people don’t have simultaneous orgasms. That’s something the movies made up to be more efficient on the time. It happens sometimes, but usually, it happens because the two partners know each other very well, have made love before, and are specifically timing it that way. Most often one person has an orgasm ahead of the other person, and honey, if it’s one of us girls we might even go for a second!” A number of them looked surprised. I (once again) felt stupid…but the conversation continued from there in all kinds of fascinating directions. I love teenagers.
I love teenagers!
- Posted in: Sex Life
- Tagged with: sex education, teenagers
Bat Sheva Marcus, LMSW, MPH, PhD
Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus is a certified sex therapist and the Clinical Director of Maze Women’s Sexual Health, one of the largest centers for women’s sexual health in the country. Dr. Marcus wrote her dissertation on women and vibrator use while earning her Doctor of Philosophy in human sexuality from the Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. She also has a Master’s in public health from the same institution. She is a licensed social worker with a Master’s degree from Columbia University. Dr. Marcus has worked as the executive director of not-for-profit institutions and corporations, medical practices and laboratories. In addition to being featured in a NY Times article, she is a frequent guest on radio, podcasts and has lectured both nationally and overseas on a wide variety of women's issues.
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A safe and comfortable place to discuss vaginismus
The vaginismus forum at Maze Women’s Health is designed to bring women together. We understand that painful sex, vaginismus treatment, and the subsequent recovery can be sensitive topics, and you should have a safe and comfortable place to voice your experience, opinions, and concerns.
We envision this vaginismus forum as a place for you to introduce yourself, share your personal story, ask questions, and discuss any and all aspects of vaginismus, including our treatment options. We sincerely hope that you find this to be a comfortable place to discuss your struggles and triumphs as you navigate through vaginismus treatment. Talking through these issues with women that have gone through it can make all the difference.
