Looking for support prior to Botox

• Author
  Posts
• September 5, 2019 at 2:41 pm #25729
  Amoebabutter

  Participant

  Hi all, my name’s Sarah and I’m having my Botox procedure in about a week and a half. I’ve honestly been a really emotional mess this week and I think I’m just looking for some encouragement/hope that the procedure is going to be a positive change in my life. I’ve been living with the frustration and pain of this condition for so long, it seems really hard at times to imagine things changing at all, despite the testimonials I’ve read. It also doesn’t help that after years of avoiding dating, I’ve started seeing someone on-and-off and he doesn’t yet know about my condition, or that I’m having this procedure, and figuring out how and when to tell him seems really daunting right now.

  I know there’s tons of women who have felt exactly like I do right now. I’m just looking for some positive experience stories I guess–anything to make going through this feel a little less lonely and a little more hopeful.

  September 8, 2019 at 8:49 am #25734
  recessivegenequeen

  Participant

  Hi Sarah! Congratulations on having your botox procedure scheduled – it’s a huge step and you should feel very proud of yourself for getting this far.

  I’m a textbook case of someone whose life was made vastly better by the botox procedure. I had suffered with vaginismus for nearly 10 years by the time I finally got serious about seeking treatment at the behest of a partner, and nothing short of the procedure was going to work on me – my vaginismus was too severe to even begin dilating or doing pelvic floor therapy or anything like that. I had lived with it for so long that I knew I needed to change my life or risk losing a partner or maybe even chance never finding the stable love I wanted.

  The botox procedure worked amazingly; I was guided through the whole process by the amazing staff in White Plains and dilated every day after that. On the 20th day after my procedure, I was able to have sex for the very first time with my partner. The next few months were a process of getting used to sex and coming to enjoy it, and now I feel like someone who never had vaginismus at all.

  I can’t exaggerate how much better it made my life to get that procedure. Not only because I’m able to have sex now, but because it took away a huge root cause of my insecurity and self-loathing. I learned so much about my own strength and resilience that I still draw upon to this day. It can do so much for your confidence to put this problem behind you.

  As for your partner, that’s always a hard part to bring him into that vulnerable world with you. I recommend framing your explanation in a way that’s upbeat and pragmatic – telling him proactively “Hey, just so you know I’ve had a condition for quite awhile that makes me unable to have sex, but I’m working on it right now and making these big changes and really looking forward to how things are going to change for me. I would love for you to be a part of that in X Y and Z ways.” Show him you’re not afraid of conquering your fears and once he comes to learn the story of your sexual life, he’ll love you even more for your strength and courage.

  Good luck with the procedure!!! Let us know how it all goes!

  September 27, 2019 at 10:41 am #25903
  Sks823

  Participant

  Amoebabutter,

  I hope your procedure went so so well! Definitely update us when you get a chance.

  I know firsthand how difficult the emotional effects of this condition are – constantly feeling unsure and unfulfilled and shameful and embarrassed…

  While I didn’t have botox, I was definitely a very difficult case but eventually succeeded with dilation therapy (which you will likely do after the procedure) by going to Maze and having weekly/every 2-3 week appointments until I got through all the dilator sizes.

  There were so many small successes along the way – using a tampon, moving up in dilator size, etc. – leading up to penetration, and all of these successes made me feel AMAZING, UNSTOPPABLE, ECSTATIC. It’s like the lows of my years of uncertainty *down there* were reversed as I made progress with dilation – it was such a great feeling of success. I was proud of myself.

  I just want you to know what a huge deal it is that you’re doing this – you’re going to change your life for the better FOR GOOD! Don’t be afraid of some bumps along the way (dilating can be difficult) – you’ll get through this such a strong woman!

  Keep us updated!

  September 27, 2019 at 9:25 pm #25908
  Amoebabutter

  Participant

  Hi there! Thanks so much, I’m almost 2 weeks post-op and I’m doing really well! I can’t believe the difference to be honest. I’ve made it up to the #6 already without pain at insertion and it’s wild. I am having burning when I remove the dilator or slide it down, but I made a separate post about it because I’m not sure how normal that is? But overall I feel really positive, it’s exciting to make progress so quickly and to be so far after so many years of total stagnation. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!!

  September 27, 2019 at 9:47 pm #25910
  recessivegenequeen

  Participant

  Congrats again Sarah! You’re totally right that it really is crazy how fast things can start working and how much progress you can see right away after a long time of feeling totally stuck. Keep up the great work, it’s amazing to hear how well it’s going for you and I’m sure it gives a lot of people faith!

  October 9, 2019 at 12:45 pm #26053
  Cathleen Kneidl, RPA-C

  Moderator

  Congratulations Sarah, so happy you are making progress. Burning with dilation can be normal- but as the muscles gradually stretch it should start to subside. Has the burning stopped. Hope all is well and you are continuing to make progress, keep us posted!

  Cathleen

  January 7, 2020 at 6:44 am #26548
  Sks823

  Participant

  Hi Amoebabutter,

  So happy to hear about your progress – yes, burning/pain with dilation is normal and should subside as time goes on. More lube always helps (coconut oil is what I used). Hope all is well and you’re enjoying your new life!

  January 21, 2020 at 5:32 pm #26678
  Leslie Turner, WHNP, CNM

  Participant

  Hi Amoebabutter,
  Wanted to reach out to see how you’re doing, now that it’s several months after your procedure. Please update us on your progress and let us know if you need any specific support for where you are at this point in your vaginismus treatment. Take good care!