[SophieCantHaveSex]

Hi everyone,

It has been a long old time!
I’m 23 now, and have had painful sex/ tensing of the vagina, since I first started having sex when I was 18.
I just wanted to give an update on where I a now, following my last post in May 2019 I did buy a small vibrator and used this for maybe a year (with lube) before I went on to using dilators in the summer of last year. After a few months of using the dilators and working up the 4 sizes available to the biggest size, I had sex with someone I’d had sex with before and we had painless sex and have done it again since that time. Even though I still struggle occasionally I have come a very long way. 🙂 I actually write a blog of my progress which you can see here: https://sexualsessions135104910.wordpress.com/2020/03/25/dilators-do-they-though-no-they-dont/

[SophieCantHaveSex]

Hi Recessivegenequeen,

Thanks for your reply it was so informative and helpful, I really appreciated it. I’ll buy a small vibrator as you suggest! Glad to hear you recovered from vaginismus, I wasn’t sure that really happened. How long did it take you?

Thanks again for the strong words 🙂

Sophie(can’thavesex)

[SophieCantHaveSex]

Hi guys,

This is my first post since joining the forum. Loving that this exists and that people are sharing what they are going through.

I’m pretty young and have had vaginismus since I started “having” sex. Recently I went to the doctor about it after putting it off for some time. They said to use different sized tampons during masturbating to get used to the feeling and hopefully associate pleasure with shoving something up there (lol – paraphrased), I don’t have a big libido though so have to force myself to masturbate sometimes (lol, poor me ey).

I’m quite easy going and joke with my friends about my ‘sex-envy’ of them, I take it quite lightly with them, but not really with sexual partners… I feel pressure when I start dating someone new to have sex with them then have to go through the incredibly embarrassing conversation (I feel like why would someone want to be with someone who can’t have sex?!)… It would be must easier just to date women. I wonder whether the reason I can’t have sex with men is because I’m just not that into them, but my friend reminds me that maybe I’m just not that into them because I associate them with pain – a good point on his part.

So anyway, these days I’m not dating anyone and trying to sort my head (and my vag) out. Has the tampon/masturbation technique worked for anyone else? It kind of has worked for me a little… but I’ve haven’t had sex with anyone to see if it has worked that well.

Feel free to reply 🙂 Thanks!

[SophieCantHaveSex]

Hi guys,

This is my first post since joining the forum. Loving that this exists and that people are sharing what they are going through.

I’m pretty young and have had vaginismus since I started “having” sex. Recently I went to the doctor about it after putting it off for some time. They said to use different sized tampons during masturbating to get used to the feeling and hopefully associate pleasure with shoving something up there (lol – paraphrased), I don’t have a big libido though so have to force myself to masturbate sometimes (lol, poor me ey).

I’m quite easy going and joke with my friends about my ‘sex-envy’ of them, I take it quite lightly with them, but not really with sexual partners… I feel pressure when I start dating someone new to have sex with them then have to go through the incredibly embarrassing conversation (I feel like why would someone want to be with someone who can’t have sex?!)… It would be must easier just to date women. I wonder whether the reason I can’t have sex with men is because I’m just not that into them, but my friend reminds me that maybe I’m just not that into them because I associate them with pain – a good point on his part.

So anyway, these days I’m not dating anyone and trying to sort my head (and my vag) out. Has the tampon/masturbation technique worked for anyone else? It kind of has worked for me a little… but I’ve haven’t had sex with anyone to see if it has worked that well.

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