[SassiH]

Hi so I have had Vaginismus since I was 18. I had one bad experience were a guy forced a finger inside me and it hurt. Since then i have been weird with fingers inside me (my own and husbands) Im now 29 and after going to Relate with and without my husband, using dilators, Vagiwave at nights and hypnotherapy I am finally able to let my husband put his penis inside me but however it is still so painful and difficult!

I just feel that i have put so much energy into this after years of avoiding the subject and not listening to my husband who thought i had vaginismus.

I just want this to be OVER and im so close to the end that everytime it dosent happen the way i want i feel like its more time wasted!! Im so frustrated! I want to get on with my life and have a family like other people my age.

I try to look at the positive that i have come so far, I couldnt put a cotton bud in without crying or breaking out in a cold sweat. The dilators felt like they would never go in! But they did and my confidence soared! I also have such a supportive husband who has been behind me every step of the way and has been my cheerleader when i really needed it. I honestly think that when we get through this it will have made us stronger and we know we can work together as a team.

I am struggling with this last part if anyone has any suggestions? I would love to hear them! I find my muscles are painful when his penis goes in and it takes me a few seconds to put his full penis in and by that point its very hard to try to then move up and down? ( very graphic but im sure none of us care at this point!)

Love you all for sharing it really helps to know we are not alone in this very isolating, embarassing condition!!

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