[Mw84UK]

Hey,

I don’t come on and comment but have kept up with replies.

Sadly this week, I think our marriage came to an end. She made some strides in improving our sex life and is even now able to have sex. However she still never wants to, and the lack of initiation on her part has taken me to a point where I’ve thrown in the towel. Me sitting her down and very clearly communicating my needs a good few times since me initially posting in this forum.

I’ve spent too many years carrying the pain of wondering why she cant ever initiate sex and wondering whats wrong with me and why she won’t make it happen and dealing with the pain of that and having to sit my wife down and basically beg for sexual attention for things to make initial quick changes bit for nothing to be followed up.

[Mw84UK]

Thank you, I needed to hear from someone else again that my feelings are not alien, unreasonable or selfish.

I need to do something soon. At the moment I’m not even enjoying being at home, I feel like I’m hiding something and it’s making ME feel guilty! I cant wait to go to work or be out the house. It’s not right.

[Mw84UK]

Hi,

Thank you. Other for your words of support and encouragement.

Weeks after this post , I did the hardest thing I ever had to do and approached the subject with my wife.

I told her how unhappy the state of our marriage was making me and how unhappy our sex life made me. She was incredibly upset as you can imagine but did commence counselling to help.

Its helped somewhat, she now has some interest in sexual acts, rather than none, she appears to enjoy it more, and we feel closer to penetration than we ever have.

Then her Grandmother became unwell, she spent a few months focusing on her before she passed in June and it’s been forgotten since. No counselling appointments and her wanting us to try for another baby using a syringe to … well… deliver the pay load. 3 months ago we agreed that we would as I felt she was making enough progress and it was on the basis that we didn’t stop trying to fix it but she’s just stopped caring about solving the problem since. It feels Almost as though she’s trying to trap me with another child, so I don’t go anywhere

I feel like she doesn’t care about me again. Like she’s getting what she wants out of our marriage and all of her needs fulfilled. It’s now been 13 and half years since i had sex with someone. I can’t even begin to describe the sexual frustration. I pretty much get wood when when a half decent looking woman smiles at me. And because I dont get the attention I want at home, I’ve begun to really enjoy flirting even more and I know that eventually I will break and become unfaithful and that would destroy her.

I resent her again, but for some reason I feel like it’s not fair for me to be unhappy and that to end our marriage over it would be shallow or too difficult for her to handle so I continue unhappy with it playing in my mind every single day and carrying the weight of the emotions of feeling unwanted and taken for granted but doing it so she can continue to think that everything is ok.

Over and over I think to myself if she really loved me she would be making the effort to make this work, and to give me what I need.

She lost her mum a few years ago, lost her grandmother this year and I worry that if I were to leave that she wouldn’t have a support network to get her through it. So I keep quiet. Again. I can’t keep doing it.

[Author]

Posts