[michael008]

Good afternoon, forum members.
I wanted to again thank you all for your support and letters of testimony. I have forwarded them to my wife and shared with her what I know and my desire to seek help. I have implored her to consider the botox treatment. It is with much regret to inform you all that she is going ahead with the separation anyway. She is moving out next weekend. We will likely get a divorce and our house is up for sale., She (we) tried physical therapy early on in our marriage but she never saw it through. About 7 months ago she tried again but failed. As a last resort I joined this forum seeking help and shared with her of the testimonies of success behind the botox treatments. but she says she no longer wishes to try PT and will not even consider the botox treatment. Instead, choosing to leave her husband to rid herself of the guilt and shame. Again and again I tried to convince her to stay, to consider the treatment, but she has made her decision. We have been together over 15 years and married almost 12 years now and we have never been able to consummate our marriage. Vaginismus is an evil curse and can rob those affected by it of their joy, the things we most richly deserve. When Kristie was 9 years old she was sexually abused by her older brother. As sad as that is, she has never resolved her issues. I have been patient, supportive and understanding all these years, I have been there for my wife — but I’m afraid it was to no avail. It is with such confusion, sadness and emptiness that I concede defeat.
Your friend,
Michael

[michael008]

Thanks Johnny for the encour5agment. I’ve been reading around the forums and I’m finding such striking similarities between my situation and others. I garner solace in the company and strength of others. Like you, my wife and I had ‘fun’ with other things in the beginning — but any attempt at intercourse usually ended in tears and frustration. It didn’t take long until the ‘fun’ started tapering off, and has been pretty much non-existent for the last few of years. Six or seven months ago when she tried the therapy again, she told me at that time that if it didn’t work out then she was going to “let me go” — It was the first time she ever uttered those words and it was something I never asked for. But it also evoked a sense of immediately failure – like she was defeating herself before even attempting it. Last week, she told me that the first time she tried PT that at least she still had the sexual desire to want to do it, but that the last time she tried it was more difficult because, as she claims, all feeling is gone. And therefore has no desire to ever try it again. We are both in our latter 40’s, she claims she has no libido anymore, and I wonder if all hope is lost. I emailed Heathers letter to her a couple of days ago and she has not brought it up to me. I don’t want to bring it up to her as I don’t want to pressure her. But I cant help but think she might be turning a deaf ear. Still, I remain hopeful.

[michael008]

Thank you so kindly for the letter to my wife — I will send it to her. I appreciate the quick response and the support and hope to get these things done.

[Author]

Posts