[Justoneday]

Hi Islander,
I am almost crying reading your story as I am in the exact same position
I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years since I was 18 and we have never had intercourse in that whole time! (And I never have) *embarrassed and crying face*

We have tried a number of things like sex toys and Vaginismus books, Only in the past year have I started going to a therapist, ive been going for just under a year and am only half way using the second dilator. It feels awful and unnatural and my body will not allow it access! and I have to sit and explain to two men (my therapist and my boyfriend) why I am still no further forward with it!
I don’t know about your boyfriend but mine seems to think if we just “shove something up” it’ll work out ok!….
I don’t think men understand how painful, traumatic and completely frightening it all is

I too feel dirty thinking about doing anything sexual together, even to the point where I’ll completely avoid him in the bedroom I can’t even bare to kiss sometimes as I know it’ll lead to more. Not that we even try intercourse! Like you, I also have 0 sex drive though I do still find my boyfriend attractive and he is beyond supportive I feel nothing (sounds awful I know) I do wonder as well if I had a new partner if I would be able to do it…

I’m sorry you had such an awful time getting a test, it’s very brave of you. I have still not gone for my smear test as I know they won’t be able to do it and I will be traumatized by even the thought of someone looking down there, never mind the pain…

I’m sorry I think I have blabbed at you a bit too much!

Anyway, thank you for sharing your story and please know you are not alone in your struggles, there are others that feel the same and are going through the same thing and I for one am almost relieved to find I am not alone

I wish you all the best

[Author]

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