[gls1114]

Hi everyone,

I’m Gemma and i’m 19. I’ve never really joined a forum like this before so I’m a bit nervous.

For a long time I struggled with inserting tampons and I worried how I would cope with sex. I went to the doctor asking about why I was feeling so much pain when trying to insert a tampon but she told me that I just needed to relax and that she couldn’t examine me because I was a virgin and wouldn’t be able to do an internal examination. She basically gave me the advice of “relax, use lube and lots of foreplay and your first time will be fine” i’m sure a lot of you can relate to this response. As I expected when me and my boyfriend tried to have sex for the first time over a year ago it was near impossible and very painful. After various appointments it was finally diagnosed as vaginismus and i’ve been prescribed the dilators. My boyfriend is wonderful about it and continuously tells me that it doesnt matter that we cant have penetrative sex yet. (We are very close emotionally) However, I know that i’m not his first sexual partner and that he does miss penetrative sex. I often feel very very down about it as I desperately just want to be able to do it, but I just can’t. I’ve watched all my friends have difficult first times but are now having great sex together and its so difficult to not compare and wish you were ‘normal’.

I’m using the Amielle dilators, and at the moment I’m up to number 3. I find it difficult to build up the motivation to do it a lot. I was wondering if anyone had any tips on this. I don’t know much about botox options so am hoping to learn about them here.

I’m so glad I found this page. Vaginismus feels so desperately lonely sometimes and its just nice to have a bit of a vent to people who understand!! Thank you to everyone who continues to fight stigma and educate on painful sex and thank you to those who set up this page. I’m going to go read some success stories to try and motivate myself for this journey.

Gem

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