[Fred_Perry]

Hi Heather,

Thank you for taking the time to get back to me, apologies i’ve not been able to respond sooner!

No, i’m afraid she isnt a member of the forum, we had looked at the forum over a year ago now so i remembered you all from there!

I feel as though i need to bring up the topic of our sex lives with my partner again, i’m starting to wonder if i have the mental strength to keep going on like this as at times it feels all consuming and i cant get it out of my thoughts!

In terms of my feelings at the moment, I’m not sure if i’ve become used to the idea that my sexual relationship is poor and thaat i should accept this and love her for all of her other great strengths or to move on. Some times when these thoughts get into my head i think about whether or not this has beeen nearly 10 years of our lives wasted, whether it could have been better spent finding partners with different sexual expectations perhaps? My thoughts then seem to turn to the practicalities of what would i actually do if we did split up.

The real source of this problem seems to lie where i come into frequent contact with someone who I am attracted to sexually, my thoughts divert to thinking what would life be like with them and, as with most day dreams it all seems rosey! There happens to be someone who is now working in my office who i am very attracted too which makes things very difficult! I have also been reading articles online about sexless relationships/marriages and nearly all of them say that it becomes extremely difficult so leave the other person! My personality is one that is fairly easily influenced, but one that procrastinates a lot so this is a constant thought in my mind.

I have no idea what to do as a next step, im unsure if i want to bring up the talk of sex when she is still going through the grieving process after her grandma passed away 2 months ago, but this is really getting to me now.

Thank you once again for listening to my ramblings!

Fred

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