[dizzyupthegirl]

Hi! I am Liz, I am 19 years old and have just been diagnosed with vaginismus, even though I have really known for about 5 years now. It is a relief to finally get the diagnosis that I have been waiting for, instead of being constantly invalidated by medical professionals. Every time the nurses and gyno would tell me that my problems were because of inexperience, nerves, and my mentality, I would shut up, partly knowing they were wrong but partly hoping they were right. I don’t know how long I would have lived in this limbo had I not switched gynos. When she finally diagnosed me with vaginismus it was the biggest relief, but also incredibly upsetting. It has brought up a lot of pain that I had ignored for so long, mostly psychological. I am still really struggling with the diagnosis, and I find myself shutting down every time I think about it, but I think seeking support from a group of women who understand might be a start. I am being honest when I say that I never cry, but thinking about the vaginismus brings me to tears every time. It is the common frustrations of just wanting so desperately to be normal, to not have this stupid problem, coupled with the intense fear that this process is going to be one of the most difficult things I put myself through. I feel already discouraged, knowing that I need to start treatment, because the problem won’t go away on its own, but also knowing that working on it is the last thing I want to do. I have an appointment in a month for my first pelvic therapy assessment (the earliest I could make it), but I am already dreading embarking on this journey. I am grateful that I have been diagnosed so young, and grateful that I bounced my way to a gynocologist who would tell me what I already knew, but mostly I am grateful for the internet, allowing me to learn about this condition from a young age. And thankful that support forums like this exist.

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