“Sometimes a man, encountering his partner’s vaginal dryness and tightness, will lose his erection or ejaculate while trying to enter the vagina. He may then go on to a pattern of impotence or premature ejaculation. Some men feel so much frustration and confusion that they react with anger. Part of that anger is being unable to play the traditional male role of problem solver. Their frustration is understandable but not helpful.
This is a crisis moment for a couple, whether the man feels angry or, like Tom, feels sad and helpless. Unless the couple talks, the situation is likely to spiral downward and, a year later, they’ll realize they no longer have a sex life together.
First you must stop any sexual activity that hurts. Then you must talk about what’s going on and about how you feel.”