I have been struggling mightily for the past few months to articulate what Haley Phelan says so perfectly in this weeks NY Times.Thank you Haley!
Sex is tricky, messy and complicated. Trying to harness it into a set of rules will only lead to more confusion and ultimately disappointment. That doesn’t mean we don’t need to call out truly problematic behavior. It does mean that there won’t be simple answers to incredibly complex questions. And it does mean that we need to find our voices, both male and female to initiate, take charge and allow, great sex.
Here’s the end of the article, but do yourself a favor and read the whole thing!
“However, the concept of prescriptive, universal guidelines is anathema to truly mind-bending sex. So is codifying it into a moral or political act. Doing so turns the bedroom into a court of public opinion — one in which, as our inscrutable desires inevitably lure us into untested territory, both parties will leave feeling shamed. We don’t need different rules; we need two empowered individuals liberated and secure enough to explore each other’s impulses, to listen to each other, and ask for what they want — even if that includes permission to not ask for what comes next.”
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