No. No. No. I’m not doing another harangue on penis length, I promise. This has to do with time. There seems to be a prevalent myth out there that women always want men who can last longer. HMMMMM…let’s see. The average time that a penis usually spends in a vagina before ejaculating is 3-5 minutes. Generally as men get older they can last longer. Here’s what I hear from patients. Anything up to 10 minutes can be great. After that, their vagina’s can get irritated. Again, I am talking the norm. Sure there are women out there who want to go at it for 30 minutes. Sure there are women who get irritated after 1 minute (although, it that’s you, sweetie, you might want to ask your doctor for help…that should be treatable if it’s a problem for you.) However, really and truly, most women do not want a penis in their vagina for 30 minutes. It doesn’t feel good. Now, that doesn’t mean that sex has to be over in 10 minutes…if you spend 20 minutes rubbing up against different body parts, having oral sex and using each other’s hands then when the man is good and ready he puts his penis in the vagina, 3-7 minutes should be plenty in there! However, as always, talk – talk-talk. See what your partner wants. Thank goodness we don’t live in “average.”
Is longer always better?
- Posted in: Uncategorized
- Tagged with: average time intercourse, Intercourse, sex time, vaginal intercourse
Bat Sheva Marcus, LMSW, MPH, PhD
Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus is a certified sex therapist and the Clinical Director of Maze Women’s Sexual Health, one of the largest centers for women’s sexual health in the country. Dr. Marcus wrote her dissertation on women and vibrator use while earning her Doctor of Philosophy in human sexuality from the Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. She also has a Master’s in public health from the same institution. She is a licensed social worker with a Master’s degree from Columbia University. Dr. Marcus has worked as the executive director of not-for-profit institutions and corporations, medical practices and laboratories. In addition to being featured in a NY Times article, she is a frequent guest on radio, podcasts and has lectured both nationally and overseas on a wide variety of women's issues.
All Posts
A safe and comfortable place to discuss vaginismus
The vaginismus forum at Maze Women’s Health is designed to bring women together. We understand that painful sex, vaginismus treatment, and the subsequent recovery can be sensitive topics, and you should have a safe and comfortable place to voice your experience, opinions, and concerns.
We envision this vaginismus forum as a place for you to introduce yourself, share your personal story, ask questions, and discuss any and all aspects of vaginismus, including our treatment options. We sincerely hope that you find this to be a comfortable place to discuss your struggles and triumphs as you navigate through vaginismus treatment. Talking through these issues with women that have gone through it can make all the difference.
