Sometimes a couple comes in feeling like something is off. But the loss of desire on the part of one partner has been so gradual they haven’t even felt it fully. One partner feels as though “something’s changed” but they can’t exactly put their finger on it. What they describe is something like this: “We used to have great, fun sex. Now it’s gotten so I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. He (or she) needs advanced warning (or need absolute spontaneity). She (or he) needs everything to be just right. He feels pressured very easily. She feels like it’s always lurking there and she’s dancing around it, pretending he isn’t interested in sex.” The problem really does compound itself, because when the sex life is fun and spontaneous, most couples aren’t thinking about sex all the time, but when one partner is avoidant, suddenly the other thinks about it and worries about it alot more and the avoidant one pretends not to think about it and to avoid situations where it may come up. Is that you??? A conversation, a serious one, is in order!
When loss of desire is gradual.
- Posted in: Uncategorized
- Tagged with: low desire;avoiding sex; one partner low desire
Bat Sheva Marcus, LMSW, MPH, PhD
Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus is a certified sex therapist and the Clinical Director of Maze Women’s Sexual Health, one of the largest centers for women’s sexual health in the country. Dr. Marcus wrote her dissertation on women and vibrator use while earning her Doctor of Philosophy in human sexuality from the Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. She also has a Master’s in public health from the same institution. She is a licensed social worker with a Master’s degree from Columbia University. Dr. Marcus has worked as the executive director of not-for-profit institutions and corporations, medical practices and laboratories. In addition to being featured in a NY Times article, she is a frequent guest on radio, podcasts and has lectured both nationally and overseas on a wide variety of women's issues.
All Posts
A safe and comfortable place to discuss vaginismus
The vaginismus forum at Maze Women’s Health is designed to bring women together. We understand that painful sex, vaginismus treatment, and the subsequent recovery can be sensitive topics, and you should have a safe and comfortable place to voice your experience, opinions, and concerns.
We envision this vaginismus forum as a place for you to introduce yourself, share your personal story, ask questions, and discuss any and all aspects of vaginismus, including our treatment options. We sincerely hope that you find this to be a comfortable place to discuss your struggles and triumphs as you navigate through vaginismus treatment. Talking through these issues with women that have gone through it can make all the difference.
