Welcome New Members!

[ezralopez]

Hi guys,

I had my gyne exam last week. I did it! (under sedation though). I didn’t remember the procedure at all. my gyne told me i am all normal down there. Have to contact her again for the next big step!

[recessivegenequeen]

Ezralopez – this is fantastic news! I am so glad the exam went well. My first pelvic exam was done under sedation too, but it’s still a big step. I think it offers some comfort to know in your mind that there’s nothing wrong with your vagina physically so that you can eliminate that possibility and begin to do the mental work. Do you know what steps you’ll be taking next?

[maryelle]

Hi! I am so glad you were able to get through an exam! I have yet to do get through one, as I get so freaked every time a gynecologist gets near me. I have tried physical therapy and psycho-pain therapy but neither seems to be helping at all. I am wondering if you have looked at all into the botox procedure or have any insight into it or thoughts about it? I definitely want to look at all options and am just finding out that others struggle with Vaginismus too, and somewhat relieved that I am not alone in this struggle

[Nicole Tammelleo, MA, LCSW]

EzraLopez,

Congrats on getting through your GYN exam! That is great news. I agree with Recessivegenequeen that it must help to know that all is healthy with your vagina. I know know there is probably still some fear, but please do talk to your gynecologist, and I hope the encouragement you are receiving on the forum has been helpful!
Maryelle,
I am sure others will respond to you with answers on their own personal experience with Botox, but please feel free to give us a call at MAZE and we will be happy to talk to you more about the procedure.

Take care
Nicole

[recessivegenequeen]

Maryelle, welcome to the forums! I can speak fairly knowledgeably about the botox process because it’s how I ended up curing my own vaginismus. I considered other treatment options first but figured out pretty quickly that options like relaxing or dilating alone weren’t going to work because of the severity of my problem and my total inability to relax enough to make any kind of penetrative process. I highly recommend it to anyone whose vaginismus is very severe. My progress also happened very quickly – I was able to have intercourse 20 days after the procedure (everyone is different of course, but the way it unblocked me mentally and emotionally meant I was able to do the work to make it happen shockingly quickly). I’m happy to answer any specific questions about the botox procedure, but if you’re seriously considering it I highly recommend getting the book When Sex Seems Impossible by Peter Pacik to learn more about how it works and if it’s something you’d be interested in.

Let us know if there’s anything else you’re wondering, and know that we’re here rooting for you every step of the way no matter how you decide to tackle your vaginismus!

[60istheNewfifty]

So I am trying to get my bearings and want to be sure I’m in the right place. Is vaginismus the same as or related to menopausal vaginal atrophy? Because that is the dragon I am trying to slay and I have a few specific situations I’d like to discuss somewhere in this forum, if this is the right place.

[ezralopez]

Hello 60istheNewFifty,

Welcome to the forum. I personally don’t know if what you are going through is same as vaginismus. But don’t hesitate to message us here. Many here are knowledgeable and are willing to help you go through this. Do you feel pain? or discomfort? You can openly share your experience to us.

Ezra

[mazemelissa]

Hi 60isthenewfifty,

Post menopausal vaginal dryness can be a secondary cause for vaginismus. When the tissue of the vagina and vaginal entrance become less elastic, less lubricated and essentially not healthy, the area will be uncomfortable, burning, stinging, etc. Those painful feelings will cause a reaction in the body to tighten the vaginal muscles. This creates a viscous cycle of pain and tension, eventually causing a tightened vaginal opening.

Post menopausal atrophy with vaginal tension can be reversed. First the tissue needs to be rehabilitated, usually with either hormonal creams, other types of topicals if you can’t use hormones, or laser treatment like mona lisa. Once the tissue is healthier, one can do vaginal dilation to help stretch the muscles and make the opening bigger to have penetration with a penis again.

Key is treating both the tissue and the muscles.

Hope this helps,

Melissa

[Nicole Tammelleo, MA, LCSW]

Hello Alex

Welcome to the forum, I am so glad you joined. I know how scary this journey can be, but this is a very supportive place to know that you are not alone, and that you can overcome vaginismus. Please feel free to ask any questions that come up for you as you begin the dilation process.
Best of Luck!

[Lilian]

Hello to all,

I’m Lilian 31 years old from Iran. I got married about 5 months ago. I was virgin at the time I got married, so I was having my first real sex with my husband. As my hymen had a septum in the middle, it was so painful when it got torn (actually after several tries) but there was no complete penetration. I had bleeding for several days and then I got infection which was fixed by using antibiotics.

After that we’ve never succeeded for even little penetration because of the big pain I was feeling. My gynecologist said that the remaining of your hymen is got bigger (something like fibrosis) and needs to be removed so she suggested me to do a Hymenectomy. I did the surgery but nothing changed.Even when my husband tries to put his finger inside me I feel a lot of pain.

Most of the solutions which are talked here are not applicable in Iran (for example selling dilators are prohibited), so it makes everything even harder for me. on the other hand my husband is not that patient, sometimes he gets angry which makes me feel so depressed and incomplete. I’m really confused and I don’t know where should I start from. It would be very nice if any of you give me any ideas.

Many thanks.

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi Lilian – I’m so sorry to hear all you’ve been through. It’s frustrating too that s many traditional treatments are barred to you by your country. I’m hesitant to recommend anything that wouldn’t be medically safe, but maybe you could dilate with everyday objects of different sizes. Do you have access to things like lube? (If not, coconut oil can be used as lubricant). Do you ever leave Iran? Could you travel to another country for treatment?

I hope you’re able to talk to your husband about how you’re feeling – vaginismus can feel very isolating and lonely and it helps so much to have someone to talk to, whether it’s a partner or a friend or family member. In the meantime, can you and your husband focus on other ways of feeling intimate and experiencing pleasure, like oral sex or outercourse? There are other ways of being close and this might be something that takes awhile to figure out, so give yourself patience and time to try things out. Please let us know if we can help with anything and I hope this helps!

[katchua]

Hi There, This is Kat from Singapore and I was searching about pain during intercourse and found this nice website. I have found various good topics in regards to women health at your website and glad to be a part of this community.
I had an issue which is painful intercourse and I have read various blogs and articles and found this as well and would like to share with you guys. https://www.dtapclinic.com/articles/11-causes-of-dyspareunia-pain-during-intercourse/

[Jennifer Dembo, LCSW]

Hi katchua – welcome and thanks so much for writing!

Could you please re-send the link to the article you shared? I received an error message when I clicked on it.

Thank you!

[Sks823]

Lilian,

Welcome to the forum and I’m so sorry to hear about your painful experiences with sex and your difficulty finding some types of treatment due to living in Iran!

Has your gynecologist given you any more advice since having the surgery? Are you still seeing a gynecologist about your issues?

I do like recessivegenequeen’s idea – using other objects (in a safe manner) as dilators, since you can’t buy any on your own. Starting REALLY really small and slowly moving up in size, I do think that you may find that you can insert objects with only a bit of pain. And then if you continue inserting that object for a couple weeks, you may find that you feel no pain any longer – that’s when you move to a bigger object!

Alternatively you could try with fingers – 1 finger and moving up to 2, 3. I read a thread on this forum where someone was successful using this method.

Coconut oil works great as lube, as recessivegenequeen mentioned.

Also, if you ever leave Iran and you’re able to get treatment or buy dilators elsewhere, that would be great. In the meantime, just know that you WILL be able to get through this – just look around on this forum for advice and success stories – all are unique and have different points of views and suggestions to offer!

Good luck and I hope all is well!

[Jennifer Dembo, LCSW]

Hi Lilian,

All of this is so frustrating, and doubly so when you aren’t able to access standard treatment methods or products.

At Maze, we strongly suggest you do NOT insert any foreign objects into your vagina that aren’t medically sanctioned. If you aren’t able to purchase dilators, your finger(s) can be valuable stretching tools (always making sure to sterilize fingers and the lubrication you are using as well).

You are clearly so strong and determined. Those qualities, along with the support you are receiving here, will be of great help to you as you work through all you are experiencing.

You may want to explore our website for more information: http://www.mazewomenshealth.com

Best of luck to you!