Young, less confused, slightly hopeful?

[Ccroppi]

Hi again! It’s been since June since I’ve last posted. And a lot has happened. Because of COVID I never got to move into college. I am doing everything online but that has given me some serious time of self reflection and this period of time to actually work on myself. So I gathered the last bits of courage I had for facing my “imperfections” and made an appointment with my GP in october. I asked her first of all for a therapy referral and anxiety medication because well that’s a whole other issue but then her thoughts on pelvic floor therapy for vaginismus because I’ve read so much about what it can do. She admitted that she hasn’t thought of it but agreed it sounded like a good idea and gave me a referral for physical therapy. I decided to go that route because I knew that I couldn’t do this by myself with dilators. I mean for reference my pinky is maybe an inch and a half long and like a 1/4 inch thick and even that would not go in without extreme pain. AND OH MY GOD. Let me tell you. Just having someone to talk to that knows what to do and what’s going on is so amazing on its own. I can’t express enough how much my physical therapist is such a comfort for me. She has taken the time to really explain everything to me. Now pelvic floor physical therapy is really strange in concept but each appointment we make so much progress, the idea that soon I can use a tampon is absolutely unreal and so exciting. I know how lucky I am to be able to afford going every week and finding a therapist that works for me. I’ve made tackling my vaginismus one of my priorities. I can’t fear it anymore and give it that power because whether I like it or not this is a part of me and hating a portion of me will not help. I still have setbacks, I still haven’t mentally been able to get over telling people in my life, having a relationship still feel light years away, and you bet your ass I still break down crying over it at least monthly. But I’m getting there. I’m not letting this define, scare, or bully me. It’s small steps but it’s progress. Okay that’s all for now, thank you for letting me dump this all here. <3

[Heather]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Yes yes yes! You’re gonna overcome your vaginismus with that attitude! Good for you!! Physical therapy is soooooo beneficial. There are so many tools that aide in overcoming vaginismus. Physical therapy, dilating, breathing techniques, yoga stretches, inner vaginal massages. I am so proud of you for taking this huge step!

[Ccroppi]

Thank you so much! It means so much more than I can put it in to words to have your support 🙂 I have really fallen in love with the yoga and breathing exercises my pt has given me, I do them every night before bed and it really calms me down. It’s kinda funny how yes these are things to help with my vaginismus but also they may be things that I should (and maybe everyone else) be doing just for my general health!

[Helen Leff, LCSW]

Hi Ccroppi,
I love your post! Stretching, breathing, yoga all work on our mind/body connection and are good for everyone. Keep it up; you are very inspiring!
Thanks,
Helen

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi Ccroppi – this is so exciting! It’s really great to hear that you gathered the courage to seek treatment and are making great progress! Taking that first step can really be the hardest part, but you’ve been steadily committed to your regimen and the progress you’re making speaks for itself. Your PT sounds amazing – and isn’t it funny how much more possible it feels to beat vaginismus when there’s someone else in your camp helping along the way? Breaking the silence around vaginismus helps you seek support and make progress. I hope you keep proceeding well and thanks so much for sharing your success – I know it will inspire others who are on the same journey.

[amyct23]

Hi! I am sooo proud of you for taking those amazing steps in your journey! I completely understand everything you’re going through and I think it’s great that you’re trying to stay positive. This is something I really struggle with so to see someone else being kind to themselves reminds me I need to be kind to myself too! We are all valid despite our imperfections, and like you said, hating it won’t make it go away so we just have to fight it as best we can! I’m so pleased to hear you’ve found a route that suits you and that you are making progress, the first step is always the hardest and so it’s wonderful you’ve got started! Keep us updated and best of luck x