vaginismus & orgasms
April 9, 2012 at 11:17 pm #8474SofiParticipant
Is there any connection between vaginismus and orgasms? I rated level 5 primary vaginismus and all through my relationships, and even on my own, I have found it impossible to reach orgasm. Now having gone through treatment, for some reason I thought that might change. Even in my most relaxed states, with a vibrator, I don’t think I get there… i feel a build up for about 20 seconds that is really intense, but then it just dies…no big release or climax moment.
I’m wondering if anyone else with vaginismus has a similar experience, or if perhaps this is a whole separate issue I have to think about?April 10, 2012 at 7:05 pm #9828<3Participant
You are not alone! That describes my situation as well… I thought that it was just me.April 10, 2012 at 11:28 pm #9829SofiParticipant
Hi <3 – thanks for responding! It’s good to know I’m not alone, although I’m also sorry that you are suffering too. I have no idea if it’s hormonal, or psychological, or both…if it’s tied to vaginismus or not. I didn’t bring it up at treatment because there was already so much going on, but I’ll see if Dr. Pacik has any ideas.
If you want to talk privately, I’m sure we can find a way to exchange emails. If anyone else on here has thoughts on this, please do share!April 22, 2012 at 10:12 am #9858lmr426Participant
That describes my situation also. I’ve even gotten some books that Dr P recommended on anorgasmia, but they didn’t give me any help.April 22, 2012 at 1:03 pm #9859Heather34Moderator
Hi ladies. Darcy, a certified sex therapist in NH, wrote a great post that you may find helpful:
“In addition to 70% of women needing clitoral stimulation to have orgasm, its important to remember that there are a lot of physical and emotional connections that need to take place in order to achieve an orgasm. Women who have been dealing with vaginismus often have very negative past experiences and strong memories of pain. Even with successful treatment helping you to have painless penetration, the brain chemistry that holds these “muscle memories” can still make it difficult to “let go” and cum. Heather did quote a very insightful article above, which had some good recommendations for treatment. But more than anything, for the women that I see in my sex counseling practice, it helps to build positive sex memories and to focus on communication with your partner. Using fantasy and connecting sound, touch, taste, smells, and images to the sexual experience can also aid that “letting go”. The images, smells, etc don’t even have to be sexual. If fresh baked cookies make you smile and feel warm and gooey inside, or an image of green grass swaying in a field relaxes you, focusing on those things during foreplay or while masturbating will help to create new “memories” that will start to elicit those same warm gooey feelings with sexual touch. Before you know it, sex and sexual touch start to bring on those same emotions. Knowing your own body and how it reacts to various touch and stimulation are also very critical to helping to share that experience with someone else.”May 9, 2012 at 1:47 pm #9892spiritcandyParticipant
I had level 5 vaginismus, but I was always able to touch my own clitoris to reach orgasm. I had to touch it a certain way and if anybody else touched it, it hurt. I have very large lips over my clitoris and it potects it from too much stimulation, and I was able o rub the outside and stimulate the clitoris gently to reach climax. I’ve never been able to handle any type of penetration and I was unable to ware tampons. I’m scared that since I’m used to clitoral stimulation, that I will never have orgasm from penetration. I am on day one after my botox treatment, and I have been using the dialators successfully, but I don’t like the feeling at all, and it’s very uncomfortable.May 10, 2012 at 1:47 pm #9893Heather34Moderator
Hi Spiritcandy. Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post. Congratulations on having your procedure done this week and using the dilators successfully. It is common to have some discomfort with the dilators as it is such a new and unfamiliar thing and the muscles are stretching. You will find that this discomfort will go away so much with time and continuous dilating/stretching. Also, the feeling will get better as well. It felt a little strange at first for me too simply because it was unfamiliar. In time, however, this feeling disappeared and it became a normal part of my routine. Thank you for your post and I look forward to reading more of your posts.
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