August 21, 2012 at 11:06 am #8616
Hi everyone….I have realized through conversations with my husband that I really am afraid of exploring my own body, in particular where my genitalia are concerned and I really don’t know why. At times just reading about my vaginal area makes my knees weak! I’m really trying to get over this because I know that it is another barrier that I must overcome. My husband has challenged me to get a mirror and explore my genitalia and the thought has me freaked out a bit but I do plan on doing this by the end of next week. There is this article called Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More (www.scarleteen.com/article/body/anatomy_pink_parts_female_sexual_anatomy) that I’ve been reading over and over just to try to get myself comfortable. Does anyone else out there feel like this? If anyone has overcome this, what was it that helped you???August 21, 2012 at 1:29 pm #10208Heather34Moderator
Hi Karla. This is an excellent post. I think one thing that could really help here is to practice looking at yourself with the mirror once and then setting up a time to do this regularly (similar to dilating). By practicing doing this daily, it may help to get used to it, become part of your routine, and significantly decrease your anxiety. Just think for a second how well this works with the dilating example post-procedure. In the very beginning, it may take a little longer to insert the dilators, but the more you do it, the more used to it you become until the anxiety entirely disappears. Hope this helps.August 21, 2012 at 4:48 pm #10214
Yes, Heather once again you have given some VERY useful advice here and I really hope you know just how much I appreciate your (and everyone else too) encouragement and information! I think it’s very important too where you mention about setting up a schedule to do this – making it part of a routine. That seems like it would be really helpful in making me more comfortable with things. Thanks again.September 15, 2012 at 7:30 pm #10305lmr426Participant
You might want to look into getting the book by the vaginismus.com people. I bought their book & dilator kit before I’d heard of the botox and had been working with that kit. The book has similar exercises with looking and exploring the area as your link above, but is explaining it for people who have vaginismus.September 15, 2012 at 10:13 pm #10306
Thank you lmr426, I will check it out!September 29, 2012 at 3:42 pm #10384
A good article I just read…September 30, 2012 at 11:10 am #10388coffeeParticipant
Thank you i will do this as well, i too feel i have this issue as well, my husband inserts the dilators for me now, soon i hope to, i will definitely read these articles and make time for the mirror exercises as well, after i came out of my procedure i was scared to look down there and see the dilator, seems strange i know. 🙁October 1, 2012 at 3:57 pm #10390
I plan to work on this in a little while this afternoon. I will post how things go; trying to stay positive through the process.
It doesn’t seem strange at all Coffee. The more and more I’m reading about self exploration and things, I’m finding that most women (with or without Vaginismus) don’t explore their bodies. It actually makes me feel a bit more “normal” knowing that lol but hoping to branch out today and see where it takes me. I wish you the best of luck when you start out!October 2, 2012 at 7:54 pm #10400
Well guys, I did do some work with the mirror on yesterday afternoon. To my surprise, it wasn’t all that bad. I decided to lay on the couch and with the mirror do some exploring. I started out with looking around the outside, exploring the top area and around the sides (labia majora). I also explored the folds of the labia minora. I made sure to do some light touching and paying attention to the feelings/sensations. I will say though that when I went to open the labia and exposed the vagina itself, I did kind of freeze up a little bit and felt some fear overcome me to the point where I didn’t want to look but I pushed myself to look anyway. I somewhat stopped there with just the looking (thinking okay, so this is where my dilators go all the time). I plan to do more of this to get more and more comfortable but I guess it was pretty good start.
Also, I decided to look at myself in a full length mirror. Of course I immediately saw/pointed out the things that I didn’t particularly like but thankfully there were some parts that I did like and thought were very beautiful. All in all I think it went good for the first go round. There will be more to come.October 3, 2012 at 8:50 pm #10414NakitalabParticipant
Wow, that is awesome K Howard. What an accomplishment and its great that you didn’t stop, that you self-talked yourself to continue on. I hope that someday I will be able to do the same.October 4, 2012 at 7:40 pm #10415
Thank you Nakitalab! I was nervous but pressed through. I know that you will have success with it beyond your wildest imagination!October 6, 2012 at 8:03 am #10417Heather34Moderator
Wow … this is excellent progress!!! :):):)October 6, 2012 at 11:40 am #10419aroseParticipant
Hi there, it’s been really interesting reading this thread… in fact, due to the title I had put off reading it for a while because that alone made me feel uncomfortable!!!
Even though we have progressed to be able to have intercourse, I still feel anxious and uncomfortable at the idea of looking, and particularly touching (with my bare hands) my vagina (the outer/clitoral area is fine). In fact, it wasn’t until I read Dr Pacik’s blog about vaginismus being a kind of phobia that it made sense in my head… I hadn’t really ever panicked or feared sex itself, but I do identify with the phobia of looking at and touching this area. I feel that I won’t have truly gotten over vaginismus until I’ve overcome this phobia as well as achieving the ability to have sex without dilating first.
It would be really helpful to hear about other people’s experiences regarding this aspect of the condition.October 8, 2012 at 10:40 am #10428
Thank you Heather!
Arose – I can definitely understand the feeling of being uncomfortable! Since working with the mirror, it has been a great struggle for me to try it again. Right now it just feels more like a chore that I have to do and just don’t feel like I have the time (more like always being able to find an excuse as to why I don’t have the time) to get it done. Similar to what you said, I know that this is a part the whole Vaginismus picture that I know I must face and the best way is truly head on. I wish you all the best in overcoming this aspect of things!
It is so good to know that on the forum that are so many wonderful women that will encourage and empathize with you and celebrate with you at your best and not so great moments!
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