Dilators and penises

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    Hey everyone, I am super new to the vaginismus world – I mean I’ve been experiencing it for a long time but the terms and everything are new for me and I still don’t know much about dilators and how everything works. What kinda of dilators are there? Are most of them plastic? What material is the best? How does it compare to having a penis inside of you? I’ve never felt a penis inside of me, how does that feel? If I start work with dilators and get used to that, will it be a huge contrast when I finally start having sex?


    Hey abstractallie, I did really well with the hard plastic dilators from vuvatech. I went from the smallest to the largest in just three months. It wasn’t always easy but perseverance is key. I would highly recommend them. I recently started the transition to sex and I would say the feeling of having a penis inside is not too different from a dilator. The main factor that makes it different is the involvement of another person (you basically have to train them on how to handle your condition). When you transition to sex you need to make sure the person you’re with is ready to be super patient with you and getting to know what hurts and what doesn’t.


    Hello abstractallie! Welcome to the forum! I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling with vaginismus. Just know that it is very much curable and you can do this!! You’ll want to dilate every day, or as close to every day as you can for about 20-30 minutes. I think if you do your research and look over reviews, you can find yourself a really good dilating set. I got mine from Maze, it’s called Pure Romance and in my opinion they are very good quality! Make sure that if you are dilating with a silicone dilator, do not use silicone lube as the lube will eat away at your dilator. You’ll want to use lots of lube during dilation so you don’t get the dreaded friction pain, so find a lube that your body tolerates! And when you begin dilating, remember not to rush your body. This is a process, not a race so be patient with yourself and never move up in size until your current dilator is easy peasy! 🙂 And don’t forget to breathe! And I second what LPoppy said. When you begin having sex, it’s so important to have someone you trust and someone who will be gentle and caring to you and your body and your needs. It’ll be a learning experience to find out what you like and what you don’t. And what positions are comfortable and uncomfortable. There is a lot of knowledge here in the forum. There is an entire section dedicated to dilating. I highly suggest reading some of the posts in there 🙂 There are a lot of questions that have been covered. Don’t be shy! Keep us posted and we’re here for you the entire way through! You got this!


    Hi Allie – Heather’s dilator advice is especially great (so is LPoppy’s but I haven’t personally worked with hard plastic dilators). I had total success with the Pure Romance set Heather describes and would agree that the main difference about transitioning to dilators is just that it’s a PERSON attached to the penis instead of a separate implement. The only thing I’d add to what Heather said is that a helpful transitional move is to have your partner help you insert dilators before you try having intercourse – this is useful because the sensation of the dilators will be familiar (be sure to start with a smaller size than the largest one you’re working with so you can feel confident) but you can practice the experience of letting go of control when being penetrated. It sounds like from your other post that you have a supportive partner on your side – let us know how it works when you get started and let us know if you have any questions!

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