A Whole New Understanding of Vaginismus

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    Last week, I went with my girlfriend and her family to Manchester, New Hampshire, where she was treated by Dr. Pacik and his staff for vaginismus. When my girlfriend first told me she had vaginismus, I thought that is was all in her head. My girlfriend has really bad anxiety sometimes and I just thought she was nervous all these times we have been trying to have sex. She had told me about previous exams and trips to physical therapy where she started to freak out, feel extremely uncomfortable, and have pain when anyone was down in that area. To me in my mind, that didn’t sound like anything that would make me feel uncomfortable or painful because woman go through that every day and are fine, so i wondered why my girlfriend felt this way. She did the research herself online and found out about the botox procedure that Dr. Pacik does and decided to give it a try due to lack of progress with everything she had tried before.

    When we arrived at the victorian style house where the procedure was going to be done, my girlfriend became very nervous and uncomfortable like she had told me she was going to see her gyno and physical therapist. The staff was very inviting as soon as we came through the door, and we met the doctor and he sat us down and walked us through what he was going to do. When it was time to do the procedure, my girlfriend was very nervous as she entered the operating room. This would be the first glimpse to me of how difficult, emotionally, and physically draining vaginismus can be on someone. When the doctor started to just feel around down there and make sure everything was ok before he started, my girlfriend broke out into tears and her anxiety was through the roof. I was at her side trying to calm her down, but there was no use. When the anesthesia finally put her to sleep, I was shocked by her anxiety of something that wouldn’t be a big deal to a woman who doesn’t have this problem, but happy that she didn’t have to go through that anymore. The doctor started the procedure, and as he was working my girlfriend’s arm flew out of the restraints toward her vagina. I grabbed her arm and put it back on the table and was in udder disbelief. While she was asleep, the discomfort of something being around and going in her vagina caused her to throw her arm in an attempt to stop the doctor. The doctor told us that it was her muscle memory that caused this, and now I had a greater understanding of what she had been going through all this time. It wasn’t a matter of this being in her head, it was a physical problem that needed proper treatment. throughout the rest of the procedure my girlfriend’s body tensed up and moved around as the doctor inserted the botox and started dialation. The procedure was a success, and I explained to my girlfriend what had happened when she woke up in recovery. She was also amazed at what she did, and yet had no recollection of it. It really opened my eyes and made me see how vaginismus can effect someone.

    It has been exactly a week and a day since the procedure, and my girlfriend is doing very well with her progress. She is an amazing person who I love very much, and I know that she is going to overcome this. I would like to thank Dr. Pacik and his staff, they have changed our lives forever, and we are eternally grateful for them.


    Awwww this story is adorable!! Best of luck to you both 🙂


    Thanks. 🙂 same goes to you and cam!!!


    This experience is very eye opening, but common to many of us who have Level 5 Vag… I too reacted in such a horrible way for the pre-procedure exam, and apparently was reacting physically during the procedure too… this really helped both of us to appreciate the real presence and power of the problem, and understand that ‘it’s not just in my head’!

    K Howard

    This is great! So exciting to hear that you had a great experience in the OR with your girlfriend and that you have gained an appreciation for what she and so many others have and are still going through. I’m so glad that Dr. Pacik allows others into the room to witness the spasms while the woman is asleep. Truly an eye-opener.


    You should be extremely proud of yourself for the strenghth you were able to show throughout the procedure and afterward when she needed your support and most definitely had it 100%! As a mother, you hope and pray that your daughter will find the perfect partner in life and the two you have more than convinced me that you really are soulmates 🙂 With all that you have been through together, most people of your age would not be able to handle all of the obstacles in your way. I’m not just talking about sex, although I understand that is an important part of a happy relationship. You two have had your ups and downs, but you have always been a rock for her and reassured her through her anxiety more than most would. You are an amazing guy and I am so happy you have each other. Thank you for supporting my daughter and helping her through the last 2.5 years 🙂 The kind of love you two have is rare and should be treasured.


    Congratulations to you and your girlfriend for making a decision that will change your lives drastically! You have a lot to look forward to in the upcoming weeks. Be sure to continue supporting your significant other as she dilates on a religious basis over the next months. But let me tell you, it is well worth it. My wife had the procedure about one month ago. She spent long nights and early mornings dilating more than Dr. Pacik’s recommended dilation schedule. Because of her hard work, we have been able to have successful intercourse multiple times over the last two weeks! What an exciting time in our lives as we had never been able to feel this level of intimacy during our 5 year relationship. Your support to her means a great deal and even strong women need us to be there for them during these times. Once again, congratulations! This will be one of those experiences that you will never forget!

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