Therapeutic Writing

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    In the Better Sex Blog, Helen wrote: “[w]riting things down can mitigate tension as writing about powerful emotions helps release the intensity of these feelings. It also helps clarify our thoughts and feelings and illuminates the issue we may be grappling with. It’s a creative process which gives us an opportunity for possible resolution to a baffling problem. Therapeutic journaling offers us a chance to be “introspective, reflective, and intentional in our writing”. Therapeutic journaling is a good self-help tool as you can write freely and be authentic without concerning yourself with being “correct”. Keeping a journal is also valuable because we can go back and see the progress that has been made. It is spelled out in black and white. So, just write!”

    This is a really, really great article. I have used journaling recently to help with stress reduction and think it also could be so helpful to write down feelings surrounding vaginismus. For me, it helps me to feel more relaxed afterwards and for problem-solving as well. I actually searched on my phone in Google Play for apps for journaling and it led me to so many. I downloaded one for free “Handy Journal” and its password protected and completely private. You can write on your time, like on the train, lunch, etc… If you haven’t tried journaling, it is worth a try and may also really help you to get your feelings out. If you have tried it, would you recommend it to others as well?


    This is something I’ve been trying to get into for a while, too – I downloaded an app also, called “Journey” but I just checked and I last wrote in it in July haha :'( but I will try to get better and it may be a good New Year’s Resolution ;-).

    I may look for an app that also has prompts, so if I’m not exactly sure what to write about, I can see prompts. While not necessarily vaginismus-related (although they can be), it’s always a good idea to get positive feelings out when feeling stressed or overwhelmed… example prompts:

    * When I’m in pain — physical or emotional — the kindest thing I can do for myself is…
    * My favorite way to spend the day is…
    * The two moments I’ll never forget in my life are… Describe them in great detail, and what makes them so unforgettable.
    * Make a list of 30 things that make you smile.
    * When I’m in pain — physical or emotional — the kindest thing I can do for myself is…
    * Make a list of the people in your life who genuinely support you, and who you can genuinely trust. (Then make time to hang out with them.)
    * What does unconditional love look like for you?
    * What has surprised you the most about your life or life in general?
    * What can you learn from your biggest mistakes?
    * I feel most energized when…
    * Make a list of everything that inspires you — from books to websites to quotes to people to paintings to stores to the stars.
    * What’s one topic you need to learn more about to help you live a more fulfilling life? (Then learn about it.)

    Cheers 🙂


    Great points by both Heather34 and Sks823! I did a lot of journaling right after my procedure, writing down the progress I was making as well as the setbacks. I think it helped me to realize that vaginismus is a journey with ups and downs and there are bound to be good days and bad days. I’m especially interested in this line that Heather quoted – “It’s a creative process which gives us an opportunity for possible resolution to a baffling problem.” I think the thing that most helped me accept my vaginismus was in owning the idea that it was something that made me stronger. We all wish things about our lives were different or that certain things didn’t have to be so hard, but we can reclaim so much by turning that story of pain into one of overcoming an obstacle. Telling yourself that your vaginismus is part of you but doesn’t define you and in fact made you a more resilient person is all that it takes to make it true.

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