The Emotions of Vaginismus and Getting Help

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    Hi all. While having vaginismus all during my 20s and early 30s, I felt so many different emotions. Aside from the horrific physical pain that I felt every time my then boyfriend/now husband tried to insert a thing or with any attempt at a gyn exam or even trying to insert the smallest sized dilator, I also felt so messed up emotionally. Why couldn’t I do something that all of my friends could do with ease? Was I the only one in the universe with this condition? And, later, how am I ever going to have children? These emotions were very overwhelming at the time and I kept them to myself except sharing with my very supportive hubby. Into my early 30s, I would constantly research on-line and google “vaginismus treatment” and I finally found Dr. Pacik and had the Botox procedure in 2011. I was cured and my new year’s goal of “Fixing V” for the past 11+ years finally happened. I did go on to have a baby. However, I did go through all of these emotions and feel like it would never happen. Please, please, please know that you are not alone at all with the emotions of vaginismus and that help is available and it is treatable. Please have this hope that you WILL be cured and it’s possible with working with the team at Maze in NYC if at all possible. If you have tried countless treatments like I did, this could be the one treatment that works. For me personally, by having the Botox procedure, I was finally able to get past the great wall of resistance/pain that I always experienced when trying to insert anything at all. I was able to insert the dilators standing up and, after working with these, later my husband and later the speculum for gyn exams. For me, again, this never would have happened without having the muscles preventing insertion numbed and then being able to insert the dilators and stretching / getting used to the feeling of something being inside of me without pain/burning. Again, please, please try to reach out to Maze and work with them in any way possible and please know that I’m here to support you along your journey of overcoming vaginismus.

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