Seek help? Or not?

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  • #49725

    I feel ashamed having to ask this here but I don’t have anyone else to ask for help.

    I’m 17 and I tried to have sex with my BF about two weeks ago. He could only get in a tiny bit, and he felt some kind of “wall” preventing him to go further. My friends are telling me he is hitting my hymen and that he needs to push through. They might be right since I’ve never put anything inside so my hymen is probably still intact. Should we continue to try or do I have to seek help from a pelvic floor therapist first?


    Hi Jackobs,

    This is the perfect place to post this question.
    I think it is possible that he is getting some resistance because of an intact hymen, especially if you have not had any penetration before. I would recommend trying some dilators before attempting intercourse again. It can be so helpful to know that you can control and insert something inside of you, before having intercourse.
    If you purchase a dilator kit and are having trouble with inserting the dilators, then seeking help from the pelvic floor PT would be a great idea.
    Your partner might just need to push a little harder, but if you can dilate before he does that, it will make it easier for him to get inside of you. Your partner can even help insert dilators for you if you are comfortable with him doing that.

    You are not alone in this, let us know how it is going.



    Melissa has great advice here! Giving yourself more control over the experience by using dilators is a great way to explore these sensations without potentially reinforcing a negative association in your brain between penetration and pain/resistance. Let us know how it goes and if you have any other questions!


    Hi Jackobs,

    Glad you found the forum. The advice above is super helpful and I agree with it all – understand since you’re a bit young that buying dilators might be difficult or impossible (if you don’t want your parents knowing) – let us know if there’s anything we can do to help!

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