Pain during sex (virgin)

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    OK, I’m not even sure my question belongs here but I’m super scared something might be wrong with me.

    I’m 19, and I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend last Saturday. Being a virgin, I know it’s super important to go slow, to have enough foreplay, to be wet enough, etc… and I can assure you that was the case. Still I found sex to be super painful, to the point I had tears in my eyes. My boyfriend managed to penetrate me and he also finished, but I felt nothing but the pain from thousands of needles in my vagina.

    I’ve talked about this with my best friend and she said it’s normal for sex to hurt the first time, but I’m scared I actually might have vaginismus. Can you guys tell me if this kind of pain is normal when you’re a virgin?


    Hey Hellen. I’m sorry you experienced pain. The first time I attempted penetrative sex, I felt the same pain. And honestly it could be because you were tight, your hymen could be too big and unable to tear without a doctor intervention, or vaginismus. It could many things. I never shoot down an opportunity to make an app with the doctor. It is always better to be safe than sorry. But you could first try dilation? There are kits out there that range from pinky sized to an average penis size and you can even buy larger sizes. The idea is to be able to insert a dilator bigger than your partner so his penis will always go in with ease and your vagina will accommodate it easily! And pain free! It really could be that you were nervous, your muscles were tight, you weren’t aroused enough due to nerves. But maybe you can buy a couple different sized toys? Play with those first before sex so your vagina can have a warm up with penetration. Start small and work your way up to larger sizes but never push yourself! We don’t want to cause pain we want to solve it! 🙂 So maybe start there. Try some insertable toys smaller than a penis and see how you do with that. If pain persists, and your gut is telling you something isn’t right, absolutely see a doctor! There is also A LOT of incredible info in this forum!


    I agree with Heather. I would consider doing some dilation over the next few weeks to prep for your next intercourse. It can be painful the first few times, but the vagina usually adapts pretty quickly when there are no underlying issues. If you continue to have high levels of pain, I would definitely seek out some treatment. The earlier you figure out how to have pain free intercourse, the better.

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