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    I’m hoping someone out there might be able to offer a little advice. I am about two weeks post procedure and have had some difficulty adjusting my muscles post procedure. I still have difficulty walking because I am constantly clenching my rear and locking my legs. I also am having trouble isolating and holding in my stomach. Needless to say I offer a good laugh when I walk.
    I’ve continued taking Pilates classes, but even simply sitting means something has to clenched. As a result I have some back pain and an aversion to any type of pressure on my stomach. I’ve read several posts about some of these issues occurring during dilation, but this an everyday issue.
    has anyone else experienced anything similar?


    Hi DJ. Congrats on having your recent procedure and please, please know we are all here to support you in the journey of overcoming. What you describe is common post-procedure.

    One member writes:
    “I too find myself tensing up while I’m dilating. It is totally on a subconcious level as I have no problem inserting the dilators and they are comfortable but before I know it my butt is totally clenched. So I breathe, and relax. Then after awhile without me eveng being concious of it I’m back to being clenched again. I think it is like what Dr. Pacik talks about with our minds. Our minds haven’t made the same progress that our bodies have. One thing is for sure….we will have tight butts. LOL”

    I found an excellent thread that I hope you find helpful regarding How to Relax while Dilating:

    Some tips include:

    “Hi Heather, we enjoy watching a nice movie at home while I dilate. Once the movie is finished, we tune up to some soothing music and move one with our plans.”

    “Post-procedure, I find that taking a long shower, burning some lavender scented oil (in an oil burner with a tea candle on the bottom), and watching something funny helps me to relax while dilating.”

    “I think yoga is a great idea for relaxation prior to dilating and I’d love to hear how you find it. I found a great article that discusses both yoga and meditation DVDs.”

    “A glass of wine for evening dilation. Music that lifts your soul. Using a vibrator. Dilating in a warm bathtub. Turning off electronics.”

    “Staying away from any noise (TV, hubby, boyfriend, telephone…) helped me during the dilating stage. I used to go to my bedroom, close the door and my eyes and I used to imagine that I was just laying in some peaceful place. I was doing this during the last couple of hours of my day, after having dinner and sometimes, a half glass of wine.”

    In addition, I wanted to share an excellent Blog regarding further tips for Relaxing While Dilating:

    I hope this helps. Sending you hugs and support.


    Thanks for the tips Heather34! 🙂 I’ve been reading lots of great advice on the forum. My issue with tensing and clenching isn’t just during dilation though. Since the procedure it’s a constant part of my day. I’m mainly worried about the long term consequences with it being prolonged. It’s almost as if I don’t know how to use other muscles.


    This has me baffled. I will be honest. And I don’t have any personal experience with what you describe “post procedure”. You say that just since the procedure you are clenching and tightening your muscles like all the time not just during dilation? This is extremely puzzling. This must be more psychological. So I think relaxation techniques are definitely needed here.

    That being said, everything is easier said than done. So I would practice this in baby steps. Try hard to use visualization techniques like some of the advice from Heather. Make yourself tighten and relax your muscles at will and then release, until you have more control.

    I think a lot of women, including myself, speak about libido and desire as to the aspects of “I haven’t caught up to where my body is physically” but I can only speak for myself. There is a HUGE psychological component to this disorder. However, that being said, ANY CHRONIC pain disorder or any chronic long term physical issue WILL result in a cycle that is hard to break. So even though there is a huge psychological component, no one should make the mistake of believing its “all in our heads”. Because it isn’t.

    I hope you can begin working on these muscle clenching issues you are having slowly and that you start to see some progress. Keep us posted as to how you are doing.

    Take care!


    Thanks 23years! I will keep you guys updated if I figure anything out. I really appreciate everyone’s advice 🙂


    Hi DJ,

    I am 1 month post procedure and I too, did not really dilate for the first 2.5 weeks. I was intensely anxious and fearful about any kind of penetration. I couldn’t even dilate in the counseling session the day after the procedure and was pretty much a nervous wreck, watching all the other ladies making it look so easy. Anyways, I’ve now been dilating every day for almost 2 weeks and can insert the #4 pretty easily with minimal discomfort. It’s crazy just thinking that only 10 days ago it took me over an hour to insert #1. I usually have a dilator in for throughout most of the day, and at night, and I’m not sure if it’s safe to have something up there for such long periods of time but I do feel it helping me stretch my muscles. Just today, I had the #4 glass in me and it felt like I had absolutely nothing up there while I was at work.

    Do you have a partner helping you at all? My boyfriend has been instrumental in my dilating and this process has been incredibly eye-opening for the both us. It really helps to have someone there and be your set of eyes, letting you know if you’re in the hole or not, making sure you’re pushing at the right angle, pretty much just being your own personal cheerleader – and overtime you’ll start to be more in-tune with your lady parts simply out of habit… That and a vibrator to help relax the muscles. I use the we-vibe and place it on the side of a lip or near the clitoris, and use the “pulsating” setting. I feel it distracts my muscles from clenching and helps soothe any pressure or discomfort. I definitely recommend using one. Also, over the past couple of days, I’ve been learning how to breathe while dilating. Take a big inhale and while releasing an exhale, push the dilator even further. Just remember, we have a higher threshold for pain when we exhale. I recently learned this from a Physical Therapist I started to see, and maybe seeing one yourself might help with the stomach aversion and involuntary muscle clenching. Have you looked into biofeedback? I haven’t done it with my PT yet…not sure if I need to….but I know that it helps break down the vicious cycle of spasms somehow by measuring them, and being able to see them tense up in real-time on a graph. I don’t know too much about it but it seems worth looking in to.

    2 weeks ago, I was sobbing crying on my bed thinking I would never be able to dilate… Progress is slow at first but once you get past the initial dilating event, the less difficult and painful it becomes in just a matter of a couple of days. Just take a leap in faith and know that there IS botox in you, and even though your whole body may be in spasm, your vagina entrance may not be as much??

    Anyways, keep us updated on how you’re doing. xo

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