Making that Call

[Nicole Tammelleo, MA, LCSW]

I speak with several patients per week, either in person or via telephone who have never told anyone about their vaginismus. The shame of being “abnormal” keeps them from telling others, and many simply do not know who to call. Just wanted share with the forum readers that you will feel better if you tell someone, you will feel so much better knowing you are not alone.

[Helen Leff, LCSW]

Thanks Nicole! I want to chime in and echo that “you are not alone”. I just spoke with someone who tried to talk with her gyn for the past 10 years about painful intercourse and was told to use lubrication and relax. For those who simply don’t know who to call, call us! You are not alone.

[Rachel Hercman, LCSW]

so true. I find that for many of our patients, making that call is half the battle…

[recessivegenequeen]

Rachel, this was DEFINITELY true of me. The idea of starting treatment for vaginismus felt so much scarier than anything about the treatment ever was. For people who have built up a stockpile of years of feelings of anxiety, pain, shame, rejection, and depression around their sexual abilities, it feels like too big a mountain to tackle. But the first step of climbing it is always the hardest – from there, you can feel yourself making progress and being supported by caring people!

I encourage anyone who’s considering making that call to take a deep breath and go for it. You have nothing to lose and a lot of growth to gain.

[Heather34]

This is a very powerful post Nicole. Thank you so much for starting it. I remember being so nervous contacting the office for the first time prior to my Botox treatment program but then so happy once I did. I think what helped me the most here was the encouragement and support from my husband to just do it and then the tremendous support thereafter from Dr. Pacik and his entire team. I have been vaginismus-free since 2011 and this was one of the best phone calls that I’ve ever decided to make!!!

In the past, Diana has also written: “I was anxious about making the first move to contact Dr. Pacik’s staff because of my fear of feeling judged just like all those doctor’s visits that I had during 7 years of trying to get someone to help me with vaginismus. Dr. Pacik offers that you speak with someone who went through the treatment and achieved results before you take the decision to schedule your treatment, this was a wonderful experience since it was the first time I was vocalizing my experience with someone who knew exactly what I was going through. After this, Dr. Pacik offered to call me and he did, he responded all my questions with great respect and patience. I schedule my treatment the day after and can’t be more grateful and happy with my decision.”

To anyone reading this right now who may be considering calling, please do. As I’ve written so many times and will continue to write. The Maze team “gets” vaginismus and understands all of it – both the real physical pain/wall of resistance that prevents insertion as well as the emotional pain (i.e. depression and anxiety that accompanies so many aspects of it).