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    Hi there , I’ve been struggling with vaginismus for the past few years and yesterday managed to get my first dilator in , the smallest one about tampon size . It surprisingly went in without pain and was just a bit tight . This was a big win but since yesterday I’ve been feeling some discomfort in that area and I don’t know whether that’s normal or not , it’s more so when I’m sitting . Any ideas what this is and if it’s just from the muscle stretching? This is my first time successfully inserting anything so I’m not used to having anything there

    mmHelen Leff, LCSW

    Hi lilly103099,
    First of all Congratulations on inserting your first dilator – that’s a win! Dilation is a practice and it’s best to find a comfortable time and space to do it daily. Organic coconut oil is a good lube to use and be generous with it. Generally the sensation felt with muscle stretching is a “burning” sensation similar to the feeling of a vigorous work out. Of course if the discomfort persists follow up with your physician. Let us know how we can continue to support you in your process.


    Hi lilly103009!!
    CONGRATULATIONS on getting that dilator in!!!!! That is the toughest step but you did it!! I’m so proud of you for beginning this journey to beating vaginismus! As for the pain, are you using a lot of lube? Lots and lot’s of lube is key. Or maybe you have a sensitivity to that specific lube you’re using? You can try a warm cloth on your vagina, that’s how I would always end a dilating session. It helps so much, feels so soothing and takes any discomfort away! I usually do it for 20 minutes, it’s just annoying because you have to keep re wetting the cloth with hot water as it gets cold fast. But you could also use a cool cloth or covered ice pack. I also use a covered icepack and it helps so much! I hope this helps! 🙂 Keep us updated!


    Personally, I’ve found that when I’m pushing my limits, I get sore afterwards. If I got really sore with one session, I’ll take it easy the next day – when I was first starting, I’d skip dilating the next day, but now I dilate with sizes I know I’m completely fine with. Then after a day of rest, I do it again, and the pain is generally a lot less. I’ve also found that taking acetaminophen afterwards is helpful.


    Wanted to second what all these ladies have said – that “burning” or stretching sensation is ANNOYING but a normal part of the process and even a good sign – it means your muscles are doing what they’re supposed to be and learning to accommodate larger objects!

    How is the dilation going? Have you had much progress since you last posted, lilly103099?

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