Can you come alone for the treatment?

[mlrchi]

Hi, I have enjoyed reading the forum for information about the treatment and especially hearing the success stories! My situation is that I can use dilators to some degree, but it is just such a long and tedious process. My boyfriend is a bit bigger than the blue dilator. I can sleep with the purple one and then eventually get in the pink, but I haven’t been able to do the blue one. Since my boyfriend’s libido has decreased with anti-depressants we haven’t attempted intercourse, but I don’t have a lot of confidence based on my dilation process. I am able to use tampons and get an OB/GYN exam, so that is not a problem. I just wish every time I started to dilate I didn’t hit a brick wall! I was wondering if the Botox might help to give me a “booster” in the process. My boyfriend and I are ironing out many issues in couple’s counseling, and I just think I would be more comfortable working with him in the privacy of my home. But I would be open to the procedure by myself. It probably sounds crazy, but I am overly independent and my boyfriend works very long hours and doesn’t really have 3 days to take off work right now. So as I go through the process I wanted to weigh my options. Thanks!

[Dr. Pacik]

Thanks M. for your excellent thought provoking post. The problem of a large partner, the “brick wall” , ironing out issues and your independent streak. Wow!-Lots to think about. We need our ladies to weigh in for their advice.
It is always best to come with someone if for no other reason than the need of a caregiver for 24 hours after an anesthetic. For those who must travel alone we can make arrangements for a caregiver. Issues are common and the reason for post procedure counseling with a certified sex therapist or couples counselor. This can be especially helpful after treatment of vaginismus. The “brick wall” is essentially diagnostic of spasm of the entry muscle. The combination of Botox to weaken this muscle combined with dilators to stretch the muscle is what sets the stage for success. Post procedure counseling helps ensure steady progress towards the goal. For those who are “almost” there, one can often eliminate the Botox and just work with a good dilation program, either under anesthesia to get underway, or through education and counseling. The use of dilators to stretch the muscles to accommodate a large penis just takes a little longer, but can be done effectively. Hope this helps. Dr. P.

[mlrchi]

Thanks Dr. Pacik, it really helps to know you are out there because I think if the dilators don’t work for me, then the botox with the dilators should do the trick. I wish I lived in your area! I will reach out if I struggle with transition to see how you can help. I appreciate it. M

[esperanza]

Mirici,
Have you tried sleeping with the dilators? Even with the Botox, i found that this helped so much. I couldn’t do it from the beginning but now that i can i find there is such a difference. You wake up feeling more loose…and then dilation is so much easier. It might feel uncomfortable at first but in the morning you can no longer feel it.

[mlrchi]

Hi Esperanza,

Thanks for your reply. I recently bought the glass dilators and yes I have been sleeping in them! I alternate between the smaller one and middle one. The middle one stings when I put it In, but it is okay for sleeping once the burning stops. I like waking up knowing I dilated all night!

[Sofi]

Hi mlrchi,

Sounds like you’re doing really well on your own and have a lot of determination! Just to throw in my 2 cents- I would still recommend bringing someone with you to treatment. If you don’t want to bring your boyfriend, then maybe a relative or close friend.

I had used the dilators a little bit before treatment and I thought that I would go, be in and out, and be all set. The treatment is just as easy as everyone says, but it is also a time when you feel pretty vulnerable and emotional. It’s a lot to go through in 3 days, and it really helps to have someone with you to process all that emotion, or at the very least, just to drive you home and bring you dinner!

I can’t imagine doing it alone, and having my partner there to wash the dilators when I couldn’t get up, and talk to me when I needed to be distracted, comfort me when I felt like a nutcase…that was priceless

[mlrchi]

Thanks Sofi, I appreciate your advice!

[hopejones]

Looking back on my stay at Dr. Pacik’s office I definitely think that having someone there on the first day is crucial. On the second day however, I spent most of it alone and definitely benefited from that. I didn’t have anyone with me which meant I had to take care of myself (with a little help from Dr. P’s staff of course) for the most part. I truly believe this helped me progress as fast as I did. I didn’t have anyone distracting me or anyone to do things for me so I just did what I had to do. Hope this helps 🙂