Any advice?

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    I was diagnosed with vaginismus about 2 months ago. I underwent physical therapy where a doctor pressed on the muscles until they relaxed. My doctor said that I had made amazing progress and I was ready to stop treatment. She advised me to try tampons, then fingers and then try sex. I found that I was now able to insert a tampon while previous attempts had failed, but fingers and see were still fairly painful.

    I was never told what kind of time frame treatment for vaginisumus would take, but I don’t feel like any progress has been made but no other support has been given to me. Is therapy available, or medication, I just want to be okay now. I’m 18 years old, and have to keep this secret from my parents and it’s just very draining.

    Is there any advice you can give me or anything that will help.

    Thanks 🙂


    Hi Sammibirdyy,

    You are not alone! I really think you should invest in a good set of dilators and start working on a home dilation program. A time frame for treatment is so individual, some women can work through a dilation program in 6-8 weeks, and for others it can take 6 months. I think if you can insert a tampon, you should be able to slowly move up in dilators on your own. If you liked your physical therapist you can go back to them and have them assist you with a dilation program.

    Here are some links for resources.

    This is the set we use for the botox procedure from pure romance. Here is the link:

    There is also a great book written by a Physical therapist called, Sex without Pain,

    Her book is a great guide, and she uses the dilators from Syracuse medical devices, here is that link:

    I hope this helps. And of course, you can always call us at Maze, or come in for an appointment.




    I agree with Melissa that you could try the dilator program by yourself at home! Since you are able to use tampons now, and the smallest dilator size is probably around the size of a tampon, it might be a good idea to at least try! I used dilators (came to Maze Women’s Health in NYC when I couldn’t use them [or a tampon or anything] on my own) to overcome my vaginismus. Use a bunch of lube and move up in size when you feel comfortable. You may feel discomfort when first moving up in dilator size, but that should subside after you continue using and getting used to the dilator. Be consistent with dilating – do something fun (like watch TV or something on your phone) while you’re doing it! Other advice:

    (1) DON’T GIVE UP! I went at a very slow and steady pace & it worked well for me. It’s not a race, because after you get through dilators/treatment you have the rest of your life to “catch up” 🙂

    (2) CELEBRATE SMALL VICTORIES! Throughout treatment you’ll realize that things that once seemed impossible or intimidating (like tampons) are now a piece of cake!

    Being able to talk to someone is huge. I saw a therapist and also looked through these forums and it made me feel much less alone. I also had an actual friend who was going through something similar! Since vaginismus can be a lonely journey (friends being able to talk about and have normal sex), this can really help you through some tough times. If you don’t feel comfortable talking with your parents about it, hopefully these forums or a therapist or a friend can help.

    Again – DON’T GIVE UP or think that you’re the one exception that treatment won’t work on. SO many of us were in your shoes and made it to the other side 🙂 It might not be easy but with time and determination you can do it! Vaginismus is SO TREATABLE, it CAN BE FIXED!

    Good luck and please keep us updated!


    Hi sammibirdyy, I’m late to the party but I just really wanted to echo what Melissa and SKS823 have already said! I think it’s extremely promising that you’re able to insert a tampon and it suggests that you’d have really promising results with dilators. I also recommend that you do it sooner rather than later. I found out about my vaginismus when I was 21 and didn’t get treatment until I was 25, and I wish I had done it MUCH sooner. It’s a really hard thing to tackle but I think it’s worth it for the peace of mind and self-confidence it gives you. We’re here to help and answer any questions along the way, and best of luck in your treatment, however you decide to go about it!

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