6 months or more transition
July 31, 2013 at 7:20 pm #8962AlyxParticipant
Hi Everybody… I just wanted to create this to ask for ladies who took a while to transition… I took over a year and I just wanted to see if anyone else has too. Even though I finally transitioned I still have work ahead. I have to work on my libido, thrusting, possibly getting to a different position, and finally getting a pap smear (I know, I still haven’t done that yet).
I figured I’d put this topic out there to see if anyone else could relate to my “long term” transition that I could talk to. ???August 1, 2013 at 1:17 am #11704
Alyx, I’m so happy for you that you have been seeing progress…no matter how long your transition has taken it is a huge success! Even though it has been almost a year for me I still have lots of work to do as well with my libido, body image, trying different positions and feeling comfortable with my sexuality in general. I have to remind myself to celebrate the small successes and try not to critique myself on how my progress is especially based on others. You are doing great and I’m so glad that you are sharing on the Forum. It is so nice to find someone that is going through the same challenges as I’m going through. We can encourage each other. I’m hoping that others will post their ideas on how to increase libido, building trust to try a new position and even more so how to feel comfortable in my own skin, sexually. Thanks again for posting!August 1, 2013 at 3:53 pm #11707rachelParticipant
My transition took a while for sure and 2 years down the line I still feel that I am still transitioning. Although I can say that I am cured from vaginismus physically it has still left scars psychologically-if that makes sense? I lived for 11 years without sex so to just transition to sex in a couple of weeks didn’t really happen for me. I was able to mechanically have sex a few weeks after treatment but I then had to work on becoming more intimate, positioning and libido!
It has been difficult for my husband too because he finds it difficult to just flip a switch from being “rejected” to sex now being “acceptable” and this has been difficult for him too. I guess that we like before our cure from vaginismus are taking it one day at a time. I will never forget the words of a psychologist who said – “Sex is like a 3 course meal-you don’t have to have all 3 courses in one sitting.” Basically, he was telling me that I don’t always have to have the whole chibang-there are many ways that you can have sex. I guess the more pressure you put on yourselves in the bedroom the more your libido suffers! I suggest trying to increase and work on your intimacy and don’t try and work it all out in your head-I know I do that-I narrate whats going to happen next!
Try going away for romantic breaks and enjoying the sex life that you now have and experiment! Don’t feel that you have to thrust just yet-or maybe just introduce it on some occasions and do other things for pleasure on other occasions so that it doesn’t feel mechanical and pressured.
It really is a journey and I am still learning 2 years down the line. I thank God I have a cure but I still have my battles to fight.August 1, 2013 at 4:10 pm #11709AlyxParticipant
Thanks for the encouragement guys. It’s going on two years since my procedure for me and it’s still very mechanical. We’ve just been able to add real thrusting which is still very uncomfortable. I just really wanted to ask for other long termers because sometimes it feels very lonely on this street – so to speak. I know it’s not a race but it feels weird sometimes when you think others can’t relate. ??? Thank you guys soo much for the encouragement!August 2, 2013 at 12:13 am #11716
Rachel, thank you for sharing that you are still struggling too. I’m still transitioning as well, struggling with trust, intimacy, positions and libido. It is so hard for me not to be mechanical and “just want to get it done”. I find when I’m away from the house, when we can plan special get aways at a hotel or resort I’m able to relax a lot more but we can’t afford to do that every weekend. Having two teenagers in the house makes it difficult for me as well as I’m hypersensitive about if they can hear or know what we are doing. My husband is struggling because he doesn’t understand why I can’t “flip the switch” and be all better mentally since I am physically. Thank you for reminding me that it is a journey.August 5, 2013 at 11:28 pm #11720
I too feel the exact same way. It will be a year September 18. I have not had intercourse yet. Still working at it. More tougher than I thought it would be. I have become very depressed!!!!!!!!August 5, 2013 at 11:33 pm #11721
This is a journey!!!!!!! I agree!! Mentally I am not where I wanna be!!!August 7, 2013 at 12:01 am #11733
Hi coffee, I’m so sorry. For me I think the mental part is probably the hardest to overcome. Please know that I am here for you coffee and you are in my prayers. Would you like to talk or e-mail?August 10, 2013 at 1:22 am #11746
Sure I would love for you to email me or talk on the phone.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.