Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus Post-Procedure Transitioning: Early Intercourse Re: Transitioning: Early Intercourse


Big news… despite my previous post yesterday morning, we were able to have sex for the first time after over 5 years of marriage last night!!!

Due to the time I’d put into working with the dilators, and progress we had made with the tip only, we decided we needed more time together… rather than me just by myself working with the dilators, we needed to work together, getting him more involved, getting me more relaxed with more ‘open’ positions with him, and attempting more progress with transitioning (every mm is progress!!)

This was our third attempt… he came back in the afternoon from work for us to have some time together like this, which was an exciting feeling in itself (we’ve never planned intimite time in the day like this before!.. but now we really could!)… planning this time enabled me to mentally prepare and be in the mood for it, as well as ensure I’d had Mr blue in for a couple of hours before. We spent time with him moving the dilators inside me (which we had only begun to do the previous night), and particularly for me to get used to this in more sexual positions, including on all fours! This helped me to really relax and open myself up mentally as well as physically, as well as for him to learn about the angles etc (as this was new to him too!). We also practiced with me on my back but with my legs open, as this was not something I was particularly comfortable with.

We thought we’d try tip only on all fours, but whilst this worked ok with the dilator, it wasn’t going to happen easily with him, so we reverted back to me on my back and attempted to insert his tip, we got to my muscles, which he could feel, and just held it there with a bit of pressure (and the occassional wiggle!!)… after a little while he was in!!! Just like the dilators, he went in very slowly and gradually, it would have been easy to think that it wasn’t going to happen, but after some time it did! We were able to do proper movement… it was good, though it got uncomfortable with long quicker thrusts, but it was proper sex and we were both able to climax at the end only seconds apart!! (Not bad for our first time!).

This was a really amazing landmark for us – it’s a bit of a blur now, and took a while to sink in, but so exciting and opens up so many possibilities (including now the very real possibility of children in the nearer future). I also found it a realy encouragement because it meant that I didn’t have to perfect the dilation insertion for us to succeed with intercourse, so even when I’m struggling with the dilators, I know it doesn’t mean we can’t have sex at all. Whilst I hope things will get easier eventually, I expect the whole process still to take time and care, so we know it’s important to book this into our schedules (starting again tonight!)… whilst this sounds a bit mechanical it’s good for me too as it allows me to look forward to it, get in the right frame of mind, and also allows us to have ‘down time’ where its ok to have some time off too!

From reading the other posts above, it’s been really helpful to read how other people get on with early transitioning… thank you for sharing your experienes, and I hope other people will be able to share there’s too (now I can read these postsn to gain tips rather than getting dishertened that it’s not me!)