Re: Transitioning: Early Intercourse

[arose]

Hi Palmtree,
great to hear from you! 🙂

I know how you feel – over the moon at the progress, yet still feeling a bit frustrated and impatient by wanting it to be properly ‘normal’. Recently I think I’ve noticed the botox wearing off a bit as things have felt a bit tighter and harder to insert – this hasn’t been a big problem, but has just reminded me of the importance to keep up with the dilation schedule.

I haven’t found a magical cure for thrusting, sometimes it’s easier than others, but overall I think it’s slowly (I mean slowly!) getting a bit easier, and I think it also depends on a few factors:
– How relaxed I am
– Lot’s of foreplay
– Lot’s of lube
– Starting slowly… after insertion, we spend a few moments acclimatising, then build the movement up really slowly. Also slower rather than quicker thrusting helps.

We try to enjoy the moment, and savour all the different feelings, rather than getting the job done quickly! A couple of times I felt a bit too sore to keep going, so we took that opportunity to explore other ways of enjoying each other (rather than just giving up)!

I agree with Heather that it also takes some practice to give up the control, and sometimes (particularly with vag sufferers) our bodies can perceive anxiety as pain. I found getting him to move the dilators in and out a helpful stepping stone to letting him take the lead down there and building trust.

I haven’t tried using a vibrator in the way Heather suggested, but I can see that it could work well!

I hope things continue to improve for you – just keep reminding yourself of how far you’ve come!

Keep in touch,

Arose xx