We get this question all the time at our practice. This is a complicated topic. First, not all women love the sensation of intercourse, but all women should be able to have intercourse, and have it without pain. Achieving pain free intercourse is an attainable goal for women who have vaginismus. Once the pain is removed, then we can work on pleasure. Many women with vaginismus had really great sex with their partners without intercourse; oral sex, manual sex, clitoral stimulation, and had great pleasure and orgasm. So we want to make sure that they don’t forget about that super important part about sex, it’s not all about intercourse! It is ok to not love intercourse, keep doing all the other sexual acts that do give pleasure. Another take home is that only 30% of women will orgasm from intercourse alone, so it is very likely, penile penetration alone will not give them the orgasm they remember from other types of sex, or any orgasm at all. Communication with your partner is key. Discuss other ways that give you pleasure and incorporate them. Every sex act does not need to be intercourse.