Hi DJ,

I am 1 month post procedure and I too, did not really dilate for the first 2.5 weeks. I was intensely anxious and fearful about any kind of penetration. I couldn’t even dilate in the counseling session the day after the procedure and was pretty much a nervous wreck, watching all the other ladies making it look so easy. Anyways, I’ve now been dilating every day for almost 2 weeks and can insert the #4 pretty easily with minimal discomfort. It’s crazy just thinking that only 10 days ago it took me over an hour to insert #1. I usually have a dilator in for throughout most of the day, and at night, and I’m not sure if it’s safe to have something up there for such long periods of time but I do feel it helping me stretch my muscles. Just today, I had the #4 glass in me and it felt like I had absolutely nothing up there while I was at work.

Do you have a partner helping you at all? My boyfriend has been instrumental in my dilating and this process has been incredibly eye-opening for the both us. It really helps to have someone there and be your set of eyes, letting you know if you’re in the hole or not, making sure you’re pushing at the right angle, pretty much just being your own personal cheerleader – and overtime you’ll start to be more in-tune with your lady parts simply out of habit… That and a vibrator to help relax the muscles. I use the we-vibe and place it on the side of a lip or near the clitoris, and use the “pulsating” setting. I feel it distracts my muscles from clenching and helps soothe any pressure or discomfort. I definitely recommend using one. Also, over the past couple of days, I’ve been learning how to breathe while dilating. Take a big inhale and while releasing an exhale, push the dilator even further. Just remember, we have a higher threshold for pain when we exhale. I recently learned this from a Physical Therapist I started to see, and maybe seeing one yourself might help with the stomach aversion and involuntary muscle clenching. Have you looked into biofeedback? I haven’t done it with my PT yet…not sure if I need to….but I know that it helps break down the vicious cycle of spasms somehow by measuring them, and being able to see them tense up in real-time on a graph. I don’t know too much about it but it seems worth looking in to.

2 weeks ago, I was sobbing crying on my bed thinking I would never be able to dilate… Progress is slow at first but once you get past the initial dilating event, the less difficult and painful it becomes in just a matter of a couple of days. Just take a leap in faith and know that there IS botox in you, and even though your whole body may be in spasm, your vagina entrance may not be as much??

Anyways, keep us updated on how you’re doing. xo