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Hi Kemk2000,

Yes, I can definitely relate! I bought dilators on my own too but was unable to use them until I went to Maze in NYC about 7-8 years ago. I think I also would feel nausea at the start too. Maze helped me a bit with the anxiety, inserted them for me and also taught me how to do it on my own (which initially took time but I eventually was able to). I didn’t end up needing to do the botox although they had thought I was a good candidate for it due to my anxiety/issues with the dilators at first. I tried and tried and DIDN’T GIVE UP (THIS IS CRUCIAL – I remember trying and trying to insert as my ‘homework’ after my first couple of appointments at Maze, and I really wanted to give up but I didn’t). I was able to graduate through all the dilators after some time with my Maze appointments!

Finding a pelvic floor therapist / vaginismus specialist could really help you too, as hopefully my similar story gives you some encouragement!

Hope you’re doing well