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Hi VaneFC!
I’m really sorry you’re still having a hard time. Vaginismus is very curable, so don’t freat!
Have you been dilating? If so, have you been keeping a consistent schedule?
Physical therapy also works wonders!! A good one will NOT push you beyond your boundaries. It is their job to relieve pain,not create it 🙂 That’s what mine always told me. She was great!
I’m happy for you, that you and your husband are still finding fun ways to have sex and you will be able to have penetrative sex one day! Vaginismus just takes some time to overcome 🙂
Also, if you have been doing all of these things and you feel like it’s too painful, or scary/stressful to go further… I really highly suggest the BOTOX procedure. A last resort type of thing! If you can dilate on your own, or go to physical therapy, that would be great for you! If you aren’t doing those things, I think you should because it is working those muscles slowly and gradually, that cures vaginismus.