Reply To: scared and frustrated

[Heather]

Hi diercl48! You are doing an amazing job with dilating and physical therapy! Your work will pay off 🙂 I second what Jennifer said. Speak to your PT because vaginismus is a pain all on it’s own, you don’t want to be miserable while you’re doing all this hard work. It’s his/her job to make you comfortable! Your boyfriend sounds like a wonderful supporter, I’m glad you have someone to cheer for you and lift you up when this becomes overwhelming. During dilating, if you’re doing this at home and not during PT, you can help yourself relax by making it a pleasant experience! Light some candles, put on a movie or tv show you love, maybe some soft music, and maybe lay on a heating pad! Make yourself as comfy and cozy as you can, and pamper yourself during this time. I 100% feel your pain. What worked best for me was just to make myself happy during this time and instead of looking at it as a chore, I looked at it as ‘me time’. As for your last question, I think all guys handle it differently. My husband sounds just like your boyfriend! He sees you making an effort, he sees you fighting for not only yourself but for him too and he also sees that this is a hard time for you too. Intercourse is just 1 part of a relationship. Temporarily it may be on pause, so take this time to enjoy all the other parts of your relationship 🙂 This will one day be a part of your past. Give yourself a big pat on the back, you’re doing great and do not give up! Keep us posted!