Hey girl! I had this issue as well! When I finally got to the biggest size dilator, when I would pull the dilator out, I’d get a sharp pain always in the same spot of my vagina and it made me fear using it. So what I did was I took a really tiny dilator, almost the smallest one and I used the tip of the dilator to massage inside my vagina. I’d just go around and around and press gently on my walls. You can also use your finger and just massage around up there, care for your muscles! It’s soothing and helpful! I also used to put a heating pad underneath me, I’d rest my feet on a big pillow and I’d put in a movie and I’d make it the most relaxing as I possibly could! With vaginismus you aren’t just battling those PC muscles but also the fear and anxiety in your brain that isn’t helping you relax those muscles. Work your way up slowly to that size you’re experiencing pain with and I’m sure in no time, you’ll conquer it! You can also try yoga stretches for your pelvic floor muscles! Just Google them because I can’t even begin to explain those on here lol! Also, try this breathing technique! Fill your belly up with oxygen, breathe in deep and slowly and fill your belly instead of your lungs. Once you cannot take anymore oxygen in, hold your breath and put the dilator in. When you exhale, exhale slowly and slowly slide your dilator out, but not all the way. Breathe in deep again through your belly and push it back in slowly. And then exhale slowly, and slide your dilator out slowly. Again, not all the way! Breathing like this and filling your stomach instead of your lungs opens up your vagina more! And the steady breathing will also help relax and calm you. I really hope this works! You can do it!!