Will i eva b successful

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  • #8857
    sarah
    Participant

    Hi

    Am i being too hasty.? Iv had vaginismus for over 7 years…. And recently iv discovered dilators… I can use the pink and purple ذ
    I can sleep with the purple and the pink during the day.

    I tried the glass blue one and manged to get. This in a little at a time and was obly able to keep it in fot 5 mins as it was painful. If i am experiencing this level of pain with the blue will it ever change? How long should i b able to keep the blue in?

    I could only get th blue in by pressing really hard and forcing this…. But how will i be able to transition to intercourse if this is how i get the blue in.i.e by forcing it in.

    How long should i use the pink in for?

    Thankyou

    #11278
    Vashalla
    Participant

    Don’t ever cause yourself that kind of pain. If it hurts like that as you’re putting it in, stop, and dial down to the next smallest size for a while. You definitely can have sex eventually! You just have to dilate at your own pace and be patient with yourself. The pain could just reinforce your muscle spasms, which is absolutely not what you want to do. Be patient and most importantly, be kind to yourself.

    #11281
    rachel
    Participant

    I agree with Vashalla, causing so much pain to yourself is not a good idea. Also it is wise to drop down a size and then slowly reintroduce the other dilator. I ahve found also that a penis is much easier to get in than the blue dilator!! When I used the blue dilator prior to sex it would often feel stingy and painful for a while. However after 30 minutes of the blue I found that the penis went in without issue, so please dont get disheartened by this. . I actually stopped using the blue and stuck with the pink…the pink truly has become my only friend with Vaginismus! I did not see the point of causing myself pain with using the blue when I didn’t need too…so maybe stick with the pink and try introducing sexual intercourse.

    Another idea…have you read any erotic books like fifty shades of grey?? I haven’t read them, but an idea maybe would be to have a glass of wine and read an erotic book and then try putting the pink dilator in..with lots of lube of course! From my experience I have found that I would take the dilators so seriously that they would become boring…painful and a chore.. When I started to think about how I could make my experience with them more fun I found it became a lot easier to endure. You dont always have to be successful in getting them in, but it is important that your body learns to percieve sex as an enjoyable and pleasurable experience… I have sometimes found that just getting the dilator as far in as I can without pain and then leaving it there in that position for a few minutes and then allow my mind to escape somewhere else…then after a few minutes I gently push the dilator again and often times I find that it will slip right in without pain. I rarerly get pain now, usually it is when I haven’t had sex for a while and not used my dilators!

    Hope this helps!

    #11282
    sarah
    Participant

    Thankyou for your responses.

    I know what you say your are right i should relax and try to transition.

    May sound like a silly question but what is the best way to dilate… Ie pit the dilator in abd leave it in allowong it to stretch the muscles or keep putting it in and out to get used to that motion?

    How long after using your dilators coninuously did you transition to intercourse?

    Thankyou

    #11284
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Hi Sara. I believe in you and truly know you WILL overcome vaginismus. As far as your question about dilating, I have done both. I have left the dilators in continuously for my 2-hour time frame in the past. This allowed the muscles to adequately stretch. And, prior to transitioning, my hubby and I would insert, remove, and re-insert the dilators to get used to the motion. And, by allowing him to help with this, it built so much more trust between us and allowed him to read what felt good and what was a little too much. I transitioned to intercourse within 1 week post-procedure and following using the dilators constantly. We both felt like we had waited our entire relationship and it was time as I was very comfortable with the dilators of varying sizes. When we transitioned, I dilated for quite some time in advance and then we were hugging and kissing and he very, very gently removed the dilator and inserted himself. It felt so much better than the feel of the dilators. Hope this helps and we are all here for you.

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