Vaginismus at Age 20 – Life in College
December 1, 2013 at 8:07 am #9062sgkophieParticipant
I realised the other day I have not written my success story on here yet. After Dr Pacik contacted me and said there were some college girls on here, I thought I would do a small post about living with vaginismus in college. I am currently a third year student at the University of St Andrews!
I think the first thing to mention is finances – as that was my primary concern. My parents have a flexible spending account (FSA), so we agreed to use the 1000 dollars put iinto it that we had not previously used for health care. They agreed to pay if the isurance paid, so getting the insruance to pay was the ideal situation. We originally put the deposit on my parents credit card – and put the rest on carecred, so everything was paid up front. Carecredit even let us put some other items we purcahsed from Dr Pacik on there, such as the amazing glass dilators (wearing one now as I write this in the library…)!
Fortunately – the insurance paid a good portion of the surgery adn the FSA covered just about the rest, so we were able to get the surgery with very little out of pocket expnses, which was fantastic. We paid for the hotel and flights through airmiles which my parents were saving, so I am blessed they decided to use them on me (although we did a mini vacation after to Boston, etc!)
Financing the surgery is not as difficult as expected. Insruance companies seem to be paying more and more and the woman Dr Pacik uses to fight for you is just incredible!! She keeps refiling and fighting for you over and over and over. Carecredit is also a great option and my parents were prepared to use this if the isurance did not pay. Also if you are getting it next year think of a flexible spending account!
As for living with this in collge, I was pretty depressed msot of first an second year. After I finally admitted it to myself, I began searching for option. Coming upon Dr Pacik was amazing! As for living with it after the procesdure, I am so happy. I feel relieved. I have an amazing group of girlfriends who are aware of the condition and they are so suportive. They always check up on me and make sure I am dialting, etc. It’s good to have someone to be open to, and to have someone to laugh about the dilators with ! Ive been able to spread the word among my group of friends, and one of them went for treatment elsewhere as well (physical therapy) so that was great!
I dilate usually at night… probably every other day. Now that my muscles are so much more reflaxed and I can wear the pink one wherver, I wear it to class and the library, because its so easy! Its really not a stress to do it in college, just do it at night if you cant during the day! If we’re being honest, doing it after a night of drinking is the best, no anxiety and it goes in so easily… that’s how I got the blue one and the pink one in for th first time without pre dilating! And after that, I just felt so confident I could do it again!
I’m proud to say I can dilate any of the dilators without pain! I have not had sex yet, but I have not found the right person. I want to be able to tell the next person I am with about the condition and be able to move forward with him! Until then, I am not concerned!
If you have any questions about doing it in college, etc, let me know. I am happy to help! It really does get better – and you certainly will not have anything in the way!
Soph xDecember 2, 2013 at 10:39 pm #12209Heather34Moderator
Hi Soph! Huge CONGRATS on having the procedure and your tremendous success! I absolutely LOVED reading your post!!! :):):)December 3, 2013 at 2:00 pm #12215sgkophieParticipant
Dr Pacik asked for me to write about telling my parents at such a yougn age. For me I think its different than others, because I have a strange relatiobship with my parents. While we aren’t close at all, I do feel comfortable telling them certain things. My parents do not pry into my life so much, and I was not embarrassed to tell my mom really. I was very practical about it and told her how I felt, how it made me feel emotionally, and that physical therapy was not helping after a few years, and entiher were the medications. I told hr I felt other options were increasingly becoming a waste of money and that if insurance paid for this, we would be saving years on physical therapy… it cost us for the best physio where I live about 800 dollars for a summer treatment as our insurance would not pay for that practice, but we were told they had the best “results.”
I expressed how getting it now would be more beneficial for me, before I started setlling down after university and considering getting into a serious relationship. Getting it “out the way” was petty much how I put it…
She actually understood and said that they would obsere this financially and have a look. I don’t think I even told my dad… he just paid for it and joined us on vacationn that weekend. He didn’t seem to mind, or even want to know, as long as it was fixed and everyone was happy. They agreed to do it – but neither of my parents accompanied me during those two days, as per my request. Mom did some shoppig and dad worked, so I was fine with that. However, they were both very supportive of me, even if I was very closed about the situation and they respected my privacy, which was nice.
Hope that helps! I think the biggest thing is having a respecting relationship with them, and being as open as I felt comfortable with – I think my parents apprecaied that, but thats how our relationship works in general, so it was fine. We ended up having a great family vacation together afterwards!July 6, 2014 at 2:50 pm #13036cherryblossom123Participant
It’s great to read about women who are of in and around my age that have lived with this too. I had my procedure on 2 June and it has changed my life! I posted my story under ‘Success Stories 2’ 🙂 I am in my final year of college and am living in a house for the summer with six other people! So it is hard to get privacy and comfort when dilating. Luckily, I live only a ninety minute drive from my home town, so when I go home at weekends I can dilate in peace.
In the house with the girls, I have a key for my door so I can lock it, and I keep all my dilators, lubes and any other personal items in a little bag under my bed. I put a little travel lock on this too. It gives me peace of mind that I can keep this part of my life private! However, one night I was lying on my bed with a dilator in and my friend came in and jumped on top of me – the dilator nearly shot straight out!!! 😀
For recording my dilation I simply keep note on my phone: G4 P2 A1 9hours. I know that this means I used the glass four inch dilator, my pain and anxiety scores and for how long. If anyone ever looked through my phone or it was stolen, no one would have any idea what I’m writing about.
These measures may seem a bit extreme, but it gives me peace of mind and privacy which I really value 🙂 It lets me relax and enjoy living with my friends 🙂
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