Vaginismus and Celebrating Valentine’s Day

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    Hi ladies. There is an excellent new blog posted today: Vaginismus and Celebrating Valentine’s Day.

    Excerpts from the Blog include:

    Advice from one of our vaginismus patients about Valentine’s Day: We recently treated a woman who was in relationship for 10 years and married for 6 years and was never able to have intercourse until twenty-six days after her Botox treatment for vaginismus. It was an amazing moment for them both with lots of emotion and awe. This awesome moment was achieved just a few days ago – just in time for Valentine’s Day and this patient wrote the following advice that we would love to share with you:

    To those still suffering with vaginismus I would say:
    Still make time to be intimate with your partner. Make it a priority. You will feel much closer and much more connected if you spend time together being loving even if you cannot “go all the way”. The emotional satisfaction you get from being intimate, even without the actual sex act is very important.

    To those who have overcome vaginismus:
    What an exciting Valentine’s Day this will be for my hubby and me!! We are planning a romantic evening at home with dinner, candles and all the rest of it! We are feeling a bit like newlyweds after 6 years of marriage and no sex, so we are taking advantage of it! It was always a special day before to reaffirm our love for each other, but now we can show it completely physically as well. That means a lot.

    For those considering Dr.Pacik’s Botox treatment procedure for vaginismus:
    Do whatever you need to make it happen!! Talk about a life changing procedure! I am now having so much fun preparing for trying to get pregnant in the coming months. That was something I almost thought I would never experience. Thanks to Dr. Pacik, I hopefully will! It is an incredible feeling! It has not come without work though . . . Those dilators have been my nearly constant companions, but it all felt so worth it when we were able to make love for the first time ever! Thank you again!!! 🙂 Happy Valentines!

    On Valentine’s Day, we recognize that you may have mixed emotions about this day. For those who have overcome vaginismus, like the above treated patient, it may represent a “new beginning”. For others still struggling, it may evoke emotions of depression or anxiety. Fortunately, there are many great resources for you to access that can help you vent your feelings, as well as give you some strategies and tips to better manage the day. But know this day too will pass and that you are doing everything possible to make your dreams come true. Also know that we are all here to support you.”

    I encourage you to read the Blog and welcome your comments and feedback here.


    Heather34 ru avail off forum( not offline though)?

    Dr. Pacik

    It is understandable that women would like to back channel. Yet this takes away from the basic premise that what is posted is of value to everyone. Through the exchange on the Forum women are empowered with knowledge. Back channeling bypasses this important function. We therefore request that back channeling be avoided.

    I want to wish all our wonderful ladies a Happy Valentine’s Day filled with intimacy and love.


    I just had some things to share that I don’t want to embarrass myself
    about here. It was somehow brought on by valentine’s day topic.

    Hate to be a downer


    I don’t blame you vgfears, I wish I could talk to people more privately and more one on one too. It would be nice to bond more with people who understand what we are going through. While I appreciate the forums so much, I know what you mean about having some stuff you would rather talk more privately about. I’m sorry you’re having a rough day. 🙁


    thanks for the words,Becca. Seems like although we all are going through the same thing I feel an additional layer of isolation here. I have spoken w/dr.p on the phone but i can’t seem to get thru the fear of several things involved.

    thanks too for thinking about me having a rough day…it’s been rough since i found this forum…i actually feel a lot worse than I’ve felt in my life.
    Can it be I can’t miss what I never knew?

    My WHOLE reason I started was b/c I had some uterine thickening and was thought to possibly need surgery but thank God I don’t. I DO however would like to have a gyn exam at some point since I’m 52,never had an exam,never used a tampon and of course never had sex or any romantic relationship. Just an outsider among outsiders.

    Appreciate you.

    On a brighter note I still intend on educating people about this. I have to do a project at work so I’m doing it on vaginismus.

    Quote from vgfears on February 14, 2014, 13:18
    I still intend on educating people about this. I have to do a project at work so I’m doing it on vaginismus.

    Hi vg. I think this is excellent and so many more women as well as men need to understand about the condition of vaginismus. Another Forum member, Rachel, a registered nurse, conducted an extensive training last year for physicians and clinicians on all things vaginismus.

    In a prior post, I shared the following that I hope will also be helpful for your project as well:

    I found an excellent resource article written by Dr. Pacik –

    “I had the honor of being invited to teach a continuing education course on vaginismus at their Eastern Regional Meeting, June 5-7, 2009. The 1-1/2 hour course was an excellent blend of therapists interested in learning about the cure of vaginismus using Botox and dilators. Two hour continuing education courses were presented at the 2010 annual Las Vegas meeting and the 2011 annual Houston meetings titled “An Overview of Vaginismus: Etiology, Diagnosis, and Treatment with Botox and Dilators under Anesthesia: Physicians and Sexological Clinicians Working Together for Healing” I was impressed by the large turnout for these educational sessions, and pleased that more and more heath care professionals want to learn about vaginismus. The audience was very engaged, and each of the two-hour sessions went by very quickly.

    The abstract that the attendees received was as follows: “Vaginismus is an involuntary, uncontrollable contraction of the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina occurring when any penetration is attempted, even a finger or tampon, causing severe pain, burning, and fear. Vaginismus, the main cause of unconsummated relationships, impairs or prevents gynecological examination and has serious personal and social implications for the sufferer. This condition is under-reported; its extent is unknown, but it is far more common than previously believed, now thought to afflict one to six percent of women worldwide. These women, often maintaining a wall of silence and isolation, are in desperate need of treatment. Because many physicians and clinicians are misinformed or unfamiliar with the symptoms, causes, and scope of sexual pain, sufferers of vaginismus who do seek help are often misdiagnosed and inappropriately treated.

    The syllabus included:

    1. Clarification of painful intercourse from dyspareunia to vaginismus, and the effects of these on the lives of individuals and couples, will be presented.

    2. Lamont’s classification of vaginismus, a system identifying severity levels of the condition and impacting determination of treatment, will be reviewed.

    3. Issues discussed will include medical conditions: possible causes that may need ruling out; updating terminology: clarifying a plethora of misconceptions, terms used, and differences among similar conditions, including vulvodynia and vaginismus; reasons for failure, despite often prolonged use, of conservative treatments; description of minimal penetration intercourse, a strategy which allows some patients to transition from dilators to intercourse without fear; and pelvic floor anatomy with illustrations, terminology, and conceptual understanding of the underlying anatomical problems.

    4. Treatments to be discussed include emerging researched approaches using Botox and vaginal dilation under anesthesia, combined with post-procedure care and counseling. A review of case histories with audience participation will elucidate types of counseling needed for this population both before and after treatment. Over 90% of women treated with Botox and dilation were able to achieve pain-free intercourse within two weeks to three months and required no further treatment. Prior conservative treatment received, some for as long twenty years, had failed. In addition to medical treatment, most patients benefit from clinical sex counseling for quality of life, mental health, relationship issues, and to support a comfortable transition from dilators to intercourse. Among the 10% of women who do not transition to intercourse easily, most are successful with dilators, but concomitant relationship and sexuality issues require additional sex therapy.”


    Wow, Heather- not sure how to respond. I’ve pretty much read what u posted
    but good b/c someone else may have not.

    As far as whatever else I wrote does that not matter until I get your procedure…then I won’t be isolated from
    the rest of y’all? Still wondering about this…

    Janet Pacik

    vg — Our three moderators of the Forum are all working very hard to keep this Forum positive and to give the support to the women and men who have been affected by vaginismus. It is not a pre-requisite that you have the Botox treatment procedure in order to participate in this Forum. I do feel that the isolation you are feeling is coming from within and not because of the Forum. If the Forum is making you feel worse, that it might not be the proper outlet for you at this time.

    Dr. Pacik has spent a considerable amount of time speaking to you and has tried to help you through some of your issues. Our moderators have also tried to give you positive reinforcement regardless of whether or not you have the Botox treatment program. I would like to suggest that you might consider seeking couseling on a one-on-one basis with a professional to try to work out some of your issues. It would be important for you to work out these issues before coming for treatment as they may get in your way of moving in a positive direction.


    I understand there is a certain image to uphold.
    I understand I don’t fit in here
    Posting in the future will be of things
    want to hear(read).

    Janet Pacik

    vg — we are not about maintaining a certain image nor am I implying that you do not fit in here. I just am trying to say that some of your issues might be best if you dealt with on a one-to-one basis with a professional counselor as they seem separate from your issues with vaginismus. Neither our moderators or our forum members are in the position to help with other issues outside of vaginismus.

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