Vaginismus Aids and Your Partner

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  • #8994
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Hi ladies. In a prior blog, Dr. Pacik writes:

    “Though the use of vibrators is often thought to be a solo experience for the woman, sharing the experience can be beneficial for the both partners. It helps remove the clinical aspects from dilating before intercourse to a level that improves the libido of both partners and is fun. During counseling, I encourage the vaginismus patient to try many different positions for dilating to become accustomed to the different positions during intercourse. As part of this, the partner is encouraged to assist with dilation to help overcome control issues which may get in the way of feeling free with sexuality. As the two of you become more intimate, having a vibrator between your bodies aids in both partners getting more aroused. Vibration can be as enjoyable to your partner as it is to the woman.”

    I couldn’t agree more here. My hubby and I have both the grape candy stick and the lelo liv and we use these as a very fun part of our foreplay. In the immediate months post-procedure while I still used the dilators, I found that using the candy stick was so much more fun than using the clinical dilators prior to intercourse. It is a little larger than the largest blue dilator (pure romance) so it worked so well to relax me mentally b/c I knew it was bigger than the largest dilator and, thus, wouldn’t hurt, and physically, it was an enjoyable experience for both my husband and I. It allowed me to let go of control and just have a tremendous amount of fun with him. Now, long after my procedure and no longer using dilators, we still frequently use both the candy stick (our favorite) and the lelo liv and we both enjoy them. I would recommend both of them to anyone reading this.

    Have you tried using vaginismus aids with your partner such as the candy stick or lelo? Did they help you to overcome any control issues and enhance your intimacy? Would you recommend them to other couples reading this right now?

    #11878
    Alyx
    Participant

    Hi Heather! I actually haven’t. I’m a little nervous about even introducing the idea to him. Sometimes he “jokingly” calls the dilators dildo’s. So I kinda think he is not gonna feel very welcoming to the idea of vibrators???

    #11900
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Hi Alyx. I wonder if you started with the Lelo (the smaller one) and introduced this to him as a fun part of your foreplay together if he would look at it differently and perhaps even enjoy it? A tip that I did in the beginning when I first began using the Candy Stick vibrator was to actually dilate in advance with the normal pink or blue pure romance dilators. Then, I mentally felt like there was no way the Candy Stick would hurt and I was physically stretched and this is when my hubby and I would then play with the Candy Stick together and then have intercourse. We both found it very enjoyable and continue to have fun with it. It certainly took the mechanical aspect of dilating away post-procedure. Hope this helps.

    #11909
    Alyx
    Participant

    Ok… I’ll definitely have to work up my nerve and try it.

    #11933
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    It has worked wonders for us. If/when you do try it (either Candy Stick or Lelo), please let us all know what you think and if you would recommend it as well to further patients.

    #11939
    Dr. Pacik
    Participant

    An explanation of vaginismus aids can be found by linking to http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus/vaginismus-aids/

    and to http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus/vaginismus-aids/we-vibe-sexual-aids/

    Patients who use them give us excellent feedback in that they make everything more fun, the guys get turned on by these devices and the devices allow the woman to relax while getting aroused. Combine this with romantic movies and you have a recipe for a fun night. Some of these devices are available through my office. You can call Lisa for more information 1 800 640 0290.

    #12461
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    I agree Dr. P. My hubby and I have used many of the vaginismus aids post-procedure and our favorites include the Candy Stick and now Crystal Bullet Twist Dilator. From first glance, their size can look intimating but when used, they are such a fun shared experience with the hubby. I would definitely recommend these for the newbies as we incorporated when we became more and more comfortable with dilating and intercourse. The one that does not look at all intimidating and is an excellent choice for a first vibrator is the Lelo Liv. It is in between the size of the purple and pink (silicone pure romance dilators) and soft material. It is definitely recommended as a tool for relaxation and, again, great for using with dilating as well as intercourse. Each one of these aids that we have used has helped us significantly to take the clinical aspect away and make it so much more fun. Ladies, for a newly treated patient, which vaginismus aids would you recommend?

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