Unsure of what’s going on

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    Hey guys. So I’m not sure whether this is vaginismus but it’s really hard for me to get proper medical attention due to the pandemic. Let me give some background.

    I am 25 years old and have never had issues with any insertion of anything. Starting using tampons at 14 with zero pain at all. Started having sex at 19 and never had issues. I got into a long-term relationship with my current partner when I was 21. We foster an amazing relationship with open communication with sex and everything. I never feel pressured to have sex by him or be any type of way. I do not have shame or history of sexual trauma causing issues with sex. Throughout our relationship, I had the occasional yeast infection or BV, but I was always able to communicate when it was painful and we couldn’t have sex. We started being long distance and oftentimes when we would have sex for the first time after a while it would irritate me. I realized we would have to wait a day or a couple hours for me to be at ease to have sex, so we started doing that and everything was fine.

    So this past year, I started having pain during sex in November. I thought it was a yeast infection so I took some over the counter meds. It didn’t work. So I got a prescription for fluconazole and that didn’t work either. Throughout the day my vagina would feel off, that’s the best I can describe it. I would get a random sharp pain at a random point in the day and then it would go away and maybe it would happen another day. It was very inconsistent, but the pain during sex was consistent. Sometimes it was worse than others. We were really careful, would wait days in between before trying again. We ALWAYS get me very aroused and then use even more lube before insertion. So usually, I feel pain only at the opening. It’s not usually bad to the point where I have to stop. Often, it will only hurt at insertion and then hurt less as we continue. Sometimes, the pain will continue but won’t be that bad. Usually I don’t feel irritation afterwards, but we never try to have sex again unless we waited at least 2 days. Recently, I felt pain on the anterior wall of my vagina, not sure what that was about. That was new. I don’t have any other symptoms at all. I am not having issues with tampons or even inserting a finger.

    So in December I went to a walk in clinic and the doctor didn’t even test me and gave me BV meds and let me go. I didn’t take it for a while because he didn’t even diagnose me or test me, so I was uncomfortable going on antibiotics. Finally I called another doctor and asked for advice and they said to try it. I tried and it didn’t help. Finally I found a clinic that would test me, as most of them weren’t because of COVID. They did a vaginal swab and urine sample and I’ve been waiting so long to hear back. Not sure if they will get back to me at all.

    I’m very frustrated. I love to have sex, I am not pressured at all to have sex with my partner. He is honestly amazing and we take time to do other stuff and he always puts my pleasure first. So we are finding our ways around it, but I really want to have penetrative sex again. I don’t know if anyone has any advice or anything? I’m sorry if this is a really scattered explanation with too much info. I know the pain I’m having is not as bad as many that have vaginismus, I’m just still really hoping to get to the bottom of the problem.


    Hi Danmar,

    It doesn’t sound like vaginismus.

    What are you using for birth control? Are you on birth control pills?

    I see a lot of women who use birth control pills who develop a vulvodynia/vestibulodynia from the suppression of hormones from birth control. The vagina, especially the tissue surrounding the vaginal entrance (the vestibule) are hormone dependent, and the tissue can become irritated, uncomfortable, painful when it does not have adequate hormones. If this could be the case, stopping the birth control and getting on a hormone cream can be really helpful.

    I think it was really good that you got a proper culture to rule out infection as well.

    I would make sure you aren’t using any soaps or irritants in the vaginal area. Coconut oil can be soothing and you can try that at the entrance to see if it helps.

    If you are in the NY area, you can come to Maze, and we can for sure help you figure out what’s going on. We are seeing patients in office.


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