Transitioning to intercourse

[Jaclynfich]

Hi all. I’m now on the largest dilator and I’m talking to someone new and while it’s still new and we’re keeping things casual I would like to attempt intercourse soon. Any tips? I know to dilate before hand and to use a lot of lube and communicate with my partner but is there anything else I should know or do? Any positions that are best/easiest when first transitioning?
Thanks!

[LPoppy]

Hi Jaclynfich, I went through something very similar. What was successful for me was just being honest with my partner about my diagnosis, dilating first and using lube. Many people say that woman on top is easiest when transitioning but I actually found the best thing was to have him on top. We also implemented using numbers during intercourse for me to tell him my pain level from 1-10 as we went. We agreed if I said 6 or higher we had to stop.

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi Jaclynfich – I agree with LPoppy’s advice! I will also say that the very first time I had intercourse it helped to have my partner on top, especially since I was used to dilating while lying on my back. Once we had done it the first time or two though it was nice to be on top and have more control as I was working to actually enjoy the intercourse more instead of just getting used to it.

Have you made any progress transitioning since you posted? We’re wishing you luck over here!

[Jennifer Dembo, LMSW]

@Jaclynfich – we at Maze are wishing you luck as well! Hoping there has been some progress (whatever that may look like).

Thanks to @Lpoppy and @recessivegenequeen for their wonderful and supportive responses. While we do suggest a few specific positions in the beginning (ie you on top of partner, etc.), flexibility is what counts. And I don’t just mean the kind with which you have trained your vaginal muscles! Being open-minded and employing a sense of exploration in terms of positions, etc. will be some of your best friends as you make your way.

You are the boss and the expert of your body. See what works, adjust accordingly. If you need more guidance, please reach out to us.

Congrats on all of your hard work, and good luck!