Tired of dilating

[Stevie]

Hey guys, I had the procedure in July, and have been struggling to dilate daily. With a demanding schedule and workload, I’ve still managed to dilate about an hour a day in the mornings. I’m so tired of dilating though. It’s not particularly painful anymore, and I’ve definitely noticed progress, but it’s just tiring. I feel that it’s draining, and I’m struggling to find the motivation to continue. I use a heating pad, listen to music, use nice lubricant. What can I do?

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi Stevie – I get that, dilating can just feel tedious and exhausting, like another thing to do on a long list of responsibilities. But consistency after the procedure is definitely the biggest way to ensure long-term success with dilating. My suggestion would be to dilate for a shorter span of time so it feels like a bit less of a chore. Even just 10-15 minutes a day keeps your muscles used to the feeling and lets you practice inserting and removing.

Do you have a partner you’re involved with who you’re currently working toward intercourse with? And what dilator size have you gotten to?

[Sks823]

I completely understand this. Especially with so much going on in our lives, it’s tough to have the energy and find the time/motivation to do it every day! Props to you for doing it in the morning (I always saved this for before bed)

I would recommend watching Netflix/TV/YouTube videos while you do it so that you can look forward to it a bit more. Also, doing it for shorter periods of time is totally fine (in my opinion) – I always did 10 minutes or 20 minutes tops when I was dilating consistently.

Good luck and keep us updated – you’ve got this!

[Jennifer Dembo, LMSW]

Hi Stevie,

Thanks so much for writing.

I totally understand how laborious and draining dilation can be. As I’m fond of saying, most women don’t wake up in the morning with glee and scream “yea! I get to dilate today!” For some, it’s just a drag. For others, it can stir up anxiety from the pre-Botox past. And for most, it can seem like an epic time suck.

But please know this: the women I speak with who don’t dilate consistently (according to their own dilation program) are generally the ones who call us with discomfort, loss of flexibility or pain. And this is by NO means a judgement call – we TOTALLY understand! Life gets in the way sometimes.

But if you want to maintain all the brave, amazing work you did that got you to this point, we encourage you to keep going.

Sounds like you could use to switch things up a bit. Recessivegenequeen and sks823 have great advice – adjusting the duration of your sessions or binge-watching something as you dilate can be very helpful. You could also call a friend, catch up on email, meditate, listen to favorite playlist or a podcast, read a book, apply a face mask, etc. Adding a dose of self-care, productivity or relaxation never hurts. I personally have to do a form of PT every day which I kind of dread, and I reward myself after each exercise with a small treat (a chocolate kiss does the trick for me).

Bottom line? Keep up your GREAT work and know that although dilation may never be the highlight of your day, combining it with something positive should make it a lot more tolerable. Lastly, don’t ever hesitate to reach out to us at Maze – we’re happy to help support you throughout the process.