thrusting and libido

[Alyx]

Hey Everybody… Ok I have two questions and could use any and all suggestions… What are some things I can do to help thrusting feel better and how can I increase my libido??

[Nakitalab]

Hi Alyx, for me it helped to dilate for an hour or more and then slowly start moving the dilator in and out in small thrusting motions. This helped me to not only get used to the feeling and pressure as well it built up my confidence both mentally and physically that I could do it. I also find that when I feel confident I can allow my husband to move the dilators in and out. As far as libido that has been an ongoing challenge for me as well. Things that help me to “get into the mood” are romantic, sexy books, a sexy movie and a must for me is using the Lelo vibrator. It took me awhile to feel comfortable with using a vibrator as I come from a very conservative background, but it has made a huge difference for me in helping me to experience pleasure and enjoy intercourse. Hope that helps. These are great questions. Thank you for posting.

[Alyx]

Hey Nakitalab… how’s your hubby feel about introducing the vibrator??? Do you use it as foreplay with him around or do you do it alone like when dilating beforehand??? I’ve heard other girls talk about their hubby assisting with the dilators too, but I can’t imagine that??? Is that weird? Not to mention, my hubby doesn’t care for the dilators anyhow… At least I don’t think he does. I have a dilator. I bought it right after we returned from having my procedure done. Dr. P said it helps some girls to use it on their lower abdomen… it did. But now that we’ve transitioned I’m just wondering if I could use it for it’s actual purpose. ??? It’s called a Play Pure Fantasy by Durex…

[Nakitalab]

He was thrilled that I wanted to. In fact he likes it too. In the beginning I used it to help me relax while dilating by myself and then I began using it with intercourse. Now we use it almost every time we have intercourse. It feels good to both of us while he is inside of me. It relaxes me and helps me to have an orgasm. Sometimes my husband holds it, but most of the time I hold it. It feels really good when I place it so that it is touching near my clitoris but also touch part of him as it makes him vibrate as well. Giggle…I know that sounds kind of funny but both of us really enjoy that. For me I’m not able to climax without some type of stimulation like that. Due to my trust issues I had an extremely hard time letting my husband help me with dilating. In fact I still do. He would like to help me more but I’m still not all that comfortable with it. When the two of you are being intimate and if you are comfortable, I would ask husband if he would like to help you…but only if you are comfortable with it. You may be pleasantly surprised by his answer. But as far as the vibrator goes I highly, highly recommend you start using it for pleasure. Maybe try it by yourself when you are dilating, explore and see what feels good to you. Move it over different parts of your body, including your special pubic area, seeing where it feels good to you, what speed and pressure you like. It truly is ok. When you are comfortable, try using it like I do with intercourse. It will not only relax you but will also bring you much much pleasure. I’m here for you, Alyx. Let me know how you are doing and keep asking questions and exploring. 🙂

[Alyx]

Hey Nakitalab thanks for responding. As you can see I’m seldom on here and it never alerts me to when someone responds to my posts or anything. I’m with you. I never felt comfy with my hubby helping me to dilate. I have MAJOR trust issues. I’ll have to try that while I’m dilating. I seldom dilate anymore which definitely tells me that my anxiety is overwhelming. I know i can do it with the dilators and each time I dilate I have little to no issue doing so now. But actual intercourse is still a struggle for me???

[Nakitalab]

Alyx, there is a way that you can subscribe to a post which will alert you via e-mail that something new has been posted. If you look at the upper right hand side it says “Subscribe”. Click on it and you will be notified when someone posts on that particular thread. As far as being comfortable with intercourse…please be kind to yourself and validate your feelings. It may not be the right time yet, however I highly recommend that you continue dilating as it will give you great confidence and at some point you may say hey….I’m ready to try intercourse. Hang in there! I’m here for you.